So a new guy showed up at work and something seemed a bit off about him. Couldn’t entirely place my finger on it at first. Began to notice things, the way he interacted with women, and the check marks went up next to this list in my brain. All the boxes were checked. Multiple check marks went up beside each box.
Went to my boss. Told him point blank to get rid of him. And he did.
Please consider sharing this. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say this could save someone you love from a lot of misery. Or worse.
Learn to recognize these signs!
7 Ways You Can Spot a Predator
In his highly recommended book “The Gift of Fear”, author Gavin De Becker offers seven ‘Survival Signals’ to help you recognize a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The technical term is PINS (Pre-Incident Indicators).
1) Forced Teaming. This is when a person implies that he has something in common with his chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn’t really true. Speaking in “we” terms is a mark of this, i.e. “Oh....we missed the bus. Now what are we going to do?”
2) Charm and Niceness. This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate him or her by disarming their mistrust.
3) Too many details. If a person is lying they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.
4) Typecasting. An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: “Oh, I bet you’re too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me.” The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.
5) Loan Sharking. Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they’ll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.
6) The Unsolicited Promise. A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, “I promise I’ll leave you alone after this,” usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited “I promise I won’t hurt you” usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.
7) Discounting the Word “No”. Refusing to accept rejection.
Another article that delves into this a little bit more.