Words of advice for an 8 year old boy – Girls

I have mentioned some of the hilariously innocent, yet clever things my nephew said when he was around 4. He has aged (far too rapidly – where has all that time gone?) so the nature of how we interact with one another is a bit different.

Yesterday his little pal Lily called him up and asked if he wanted to come over and play Wii with her. He agreed but then acted all glum and said he only did it so her and her sister wouldn’t cry, and it wasn’t going to be very fun, and they wouldn’t have any good games, and blah, blah, blah. His dad and I teased him about being such a wiener. Lily and her mom came by and off they went. Andrew and I sat around and talked for an hour longer. Then I had to go to the groceteria, and since their house was on the way, I stopped by to see how he was doing. I told Ed and Nancy what a goof he had been, and all the time I’m hearing laughter, and jumping up and down from the back. Pretty much what I expected to find.
“They’re playing foosball in the back. Go say hi.”
I stood there for a minute, watching Anand with this big smile on his face, before I said hello.
“Oh hi Uncle Thomas! Is my dad here to pick me up?”
“No. I just came by to see what a terrible time you were having. But, gee, Anand, it sure looks and sounds like you’re having a lot of fun. Gosh.”
“Yeah we played Wii Dance and now we’re playing some foosball.”
“Wow. That certainly sounds like heaps of fun.”
Then I made sure Lily couldn’t see me, and I pointed at him, mimed laughing, and mimed his whining.
“Why you little....” shaking his little fist at me.
“Yeah whatever Anand. We’ll talk later.”

I saw him later, put him in a headlock and gave him a noogie. Pointed out what a knucklehead he was for whining about having a pretty girl call him up and ask if he wanted to come over and play video games and for thinking this is a bad thing. 
“I don’t have attractive women calling me up asking if I want to come hang out and play video games.” 
I told him that right now girls are kinda weird and annoying because they want to play sparkly princess rather than army guy nerf battle and talk about figure skating rather than hockey. But the day will come when having a pretty girl you like call you up and ask if you want to come over and do something with her will be the most important thing in the world. 
“Gals like a guy who is fun to be around, who knows how to do fun things that you can both enjoy. They also like guys who are nice, who take an interest in what she is interested in, and pay them a compliment once in a while, things like that. They also like boys who don’t act like complete dufuses. Times like this are a good opportunity to learn how to be fun and nice and cool around a girl. And dancing with a girl is always great too. So please don’t ever again give me that pitiful, waaahhhh, she isn’t gonna be any fun cause she doesn’t have Alien Zombie Blaster 5. Gals are fun to be around no matter what.”

Hopefully he will listen and learn something. I won’t tell him that girls will likely remain weird and annoying for a long time to come, but he will learn to love them anyway.