The cover letter to end all cover letters.

This letter was dropped off a few years ago at the tattoo shop by a job seeker. Now I realize that clearly English is not this poor girl’s first language, but somehow I wonder if she makes any sense if she were writing this in her own tongue. I know I probably shouldn’t be chuckling about this, but I offer this to all of you as a cautionary example of how not to write a cover letter. Although I have to say, save for one, all the words were spelled properly at least. Just the grammar and the syntax are utterly out of whack. And in case you were wondering, her resume was as disjointed and bizarre as this.

My intent of achievement for individual employment is to find a good work related experience. An opportunity of past and present involvement quality to gain work related experience. Motivation and success by individual ability and participation. To qualify for work complete and complex content based approach with experience related reliable and professional candidate validated by employment. As an employee work effective and responsible. A positive atmosphere of environment that is work related. Work day to day hourly basis. Weekly income is necessary. Secured financial income comparative wages exceeds minimum wage with benefits and availability of extra hours. Location local based only not willing to travel over any necessary circumstance will I travel. I need the necessary and reliable involvement and the creative aspects to improve the growth and the improvement of oneself to gain work related experience threw the knowledge of oneself to develop more knowledge and understanding of the stasis and the structure to recognize the learning ability and the general growth in personable acknowledgement and the intent in morale understanding of perfection or close to it. I hope to prosper in life as an individual and to develop a better sense of security both in life a financial to maintain ability to gain work related structure and content. An opportunity of great prospects for my future career my inspiration is to become sociable eneurpeur and complex personable and very energetic and enthusiastic individual and experienced in many different fields of general personable availability of communication and personable intent of career driven and ambitions and personable achiever.

All the best to you and your business well being of self and health

Thank you for your time

(Name redacted)

Hopeful employee