Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Nations Packaging

Nations Fresh Food is an Ontario based Asian super market, with a lot of Western fare as well. It’s a bit on the weird side (for a really long time their web site was an image of their weekly flyer - no contact info, job applications, info about products, etc. – it now looks to be considerably improved.), they only take Canadian cash and debit cards, they tell you you can’t separate bunches of bananas (ha!), their closing time seems to be whatever the staff feels like, I’ve had to chew out a manager on more than one occasion about their bait and switch pricing tactics, etc., etc.)

But the wacky packaging! Oh the packaging. Sometimes delightfully charming, and other times just “WTF?” bizarre.

Aahhh....just because my Monday morning needed a WTF?!

The “Mo! Mo! Moooo” part is also....unsettling.
An individual packet of the sugar and palm oil filled cookies. Where there is even less evidence of it being an udder.

“We have bought NTD 10,000,000 product liability insurance for this product.”

They look like something you’d find behind under your fridge. They’re like corn puffs, but with a choco flavour coating. Ate two. No need to eat any more.

I have no idea what these are. (Like much of the stuff Nations sells, there is no English or French labelling. How they can legally get away with that is beyond me.) Hot rocks you put in your bath water, spicy oils that make you sweat more to get out the impurities? Who knows.

But the packaging is great.
Spicy candies, nasal spray that clears up your sinuses? Who knows.
Rose scented bath oil, candy that leads to demonic possession? Who knows.


That’s what she said to me last night.

Nope. No desire to try it. Might get it just for the can to make a stove out of though.

It’s pretty clever. Knife and fork. That and a spork and you can conquer the world.

But I fear that a $1.49 for this will lead to disappointment. Call it a hunch. 
But even if the product sucks, just that description alone will give you years of joy.

I don’t know about you, but preventing skiding is also a pre-occupation of mine.

The product itself just isn’t appealing, but the packaging is lovely.

Be my soul mate. Be my waffle mate.

Okay then.

“Love of Office Lady”. I think I saw that one. Busty strumpet, tight skirt, low cut blouse, hunky guy, and oh...the things she was willing to do to get that promotion.

It’s a pretty great porn star name. Cookie Rolls.

Show your children love the only true way. With soft cookies. Not hard biscuits, you cruel monster! Soft cookies!

I’ve been to some parties where mushrooms were consumed, and things got weird, but not Donald Trump in drag dancing with a Green Bay Packers fan weird. 
Even anthropomorphized gourds Yvette Bombardier the brothel keeper and Buster McGillicuddy the sheriff aren’t enough to make me want to buy this package of pickled vegetable snacks.

Oh look! It’s Penishead, the Unicorn Boy, that loveable mascot drooling into his hybrid afro/neck beard, enticing you to buy some spicy pig intestine snacks.

Kirin Milk Tea “the Pungency”. With the characters from Frozen on it. I had to do a double take to make sure I was seeing this correctly. Yes. “Pungency”. In relation to a drink. Using Disney characters on the label. “Pungency” is a word used to describe the guy whose BO hits you from 5 paces away. Not a drink. I will not be purchasing this. 

I love orange too. (So you don’t have to strain your eyes to read the text, just scroll through to the next picture for a close-up of the whimsical cautionary text.)

Yes. You’re reading that right. A “Tultipurp Ose Tool.”
Can rotate 180°, can clip area more fill dish of dish.
The handle into product PP material, grasps the comfortable and beautiful shape.
USES the high quality stainless steel material seiko makes clip more firmly.
Product Instruction:
This series product has peeling, planing silk function. Human nature design, use more flexible, convenient and easy to clean. Widely used in melons, chips of bio-control technology, brand and a fruit peel, planing silk function. Let your kitchen cooking light more creative. 
Please use the multi-purpose thoroughly clean the plane of residue, put in ventilated dry place. 
Please placed on children is not easy to take place, avoid to touch to let children play 

I don’t even think the Chinese made sense before they translated it.

You know how pandas are all cute and cuddly? This one is like the main character in some totally demented panda horror movie. 
The freaky thing to me is that they all look like faces that’ve been peeled off of a carcass. 

Yay! Mommy! Buy me this sugary drink because it has a cute monkey and his buddies from a TV show driving a car! 

This one caught my eye, because I thought it was quite an elegant package. 

Isn’t everyone’s reaction to dried tofu a put up your dukes / fist pump?

Look, it’s dried tofu guy again, in some sort of infinity mirror like thingy. Himself, pointing to himself, pointing to himself, pointing to himself... These are ... dried fish snacks I think?

Did this influence Designer’s Republic or were they influenced by Designer’s Republic? Things that make you guy “Hmmmmhhhh.....”

They may also make you go “Mmmmmm....” I don’t know. I didn’t buy them.

The look on that kids face is either “I’m expected to grow noodles?” or “You expect me to eat that?”

I just like this packaging. I’m not even going to comment on the “Creamy Flavoured Melon Seeds”.

I’m not sure. Do you win a prize or are these just dynamite candies? And is the estate of Roy Lichtenstein going to sue?

These just don’t appeal to me.

Again, no idea what this is, but I like the packaging.

Just like this packaging.

Mmmm.....Apparently the Chinese have managed to raise peanuts with no fat and lots of sugar.

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