Sosoetry – Osinova

Os came into the tattoo shop one day in 03 and mentions having a beer at the ballet. Now I’m thinking “Beer? At the ballet? Os goes to the ballet?” I know Hamilton is a pretty blue collar town, maybe they’re serving beer to attract all the steel worker, TigerCats fans. Later on I clued in that the “ballet” is Os’ code word for the strip clubs. He was dating a stripper, and we would get to hear tales of his larger than life exploits. It turns out that a friend of his girlfriend, also a stripper, thought Os was pretty hot, one thing leads to another and he is having a threesome. Some time later, him and his girlfriend are happily inebriated, the other stripper comes over, they’re all getting comfortable, her other friend comes over, they’re all getting nice and inebriated now, and lo and behold, Os is engaging in a foursome. We have no reason to doubt him, we all know him too well to think he is making it up. Frigging guy says, “Yeah well, ya know it was just too much of a good thing.” All right Os. 

Anyway, I wrote a little poem about the whole tawdry affair, and I called it:  

Osinova
Os the dermagraphic enhancer
is dating an exotic dancer
he’s a regular at the “ballet”
on a first name basis with the valet
being a great guy and generous tipper
he’s quite popular with many a stripper
soon he was getting a special lap dance
one without the barrier of underpants
Os the Latin lover from Chile
was getting a workout for his willie
he enjoyed all this sex and kissing
but he felt something was missing
sure all this fornicating was nice
but he knew he could do it twice
making the most of his sexual freedom
he lucked into a full on threesome
most guys would be happy with one girl
and thrilled to give a second a whirl
but for Os a menage a trois wasn’t enough
he simply had to have more muff
like a spoiled kid in a candy store
he’s not satisfied till he gets even more
it appears he likes to gorge on the bonbons 

let’s hope he has the sense to wear condoms
with the appetite of a hungry cannibal
and the stamina of some wild animal
that big old slut
like a moose in rut
put out some feelers
for another sexy peeler
to stave off his boredom
he arranged a foursome
no one’ll ever call him a wussy
Os likes to overdose on pussy
in his licentiousness he revels
entangled with three she devils
given his phenomenal pull with the ladies
did he make a deal with the man from Hades?