So back in 2003, I got highly inspired and sat and wrote this out in an evening about my wonderful friend Yolanda. I’m lucky to be surrounded by a bunch of totally righteous babes and she is definitely one of them. A little observational accounting I wrote of her in rhyming couplets. It’s my attempt to create an amusing and hopefully astute portrait of her. Goofy fun mental exercise.
Yoly Kaboly!
Yolanda has a brother but no sister
her full name is quite a tongue twister
some folks may think she’s very fierce
given that her avocation is to pierce
lotsa nipples her needle has stung
and she’s skewered many a tongue
putting rings in navels of ditzy girls
some of whom feel the urge to hurl
she runs’m through with sharpened steel
secretly chuckles about the pain they feel
her totem animal is a vampire bat
and her familiar is a nutcase of a cat
she’s always been quite a fashion maven
even before the days when she was ravin’
with skin so fair
and jet black hair
wearing a long black velvet cape
and a corset to accentuate her shape
a special fashion knack
for outfits all in black
she’s looked that way for quite a while
but she’s beginning to diversify her style
once the wardrobe of a quasi neo goth
but now we’re seeing a variety of cloth
giving up the ghostly pallour
for some little hints of colour
egad, some floral prints
gasp, some pastel tints
wearing sensible birkenstocks
and cheerful summer frocks
but she’s still quite keen
on the feast of Halloween
throwing parties to carve a Jack’o’Lantern
and sewing costumes without a pattern
unleashing a withering barrage of doom
on trick or treaters without a costume
her palette is no longer monochrome
and she’s designed a really lovely home
she knows full well Martha is a convicted felon
but she’ll still gladly buy what she’s sellin’
never again will we hear her bitchin’
since she got her shiny new kitchen
of glossy birch and polished metal
where she brews fine chai in her kettle
she cooks up quite a tasty meal
hopefully one without veal
towards vegetarianism I gave her a nudge
but she’s far too fond of eating sausage
one thing that distresses me
is her scorn for the brilliant MXC
I find it altogether curious
that show is so hilarious
she sometimes acts a bit goofy and moronic
especially after a few too many gin & tonic
after much debauchery in a toga
she’s now a practitioner of yoga
she used to be quite wild
but then she had a child
her priorities have changed
and schedules are rearranged
her drunken vomit used to draw her parents rebuke
now they can’t help but adore their grandsons puke
Yolanda has a brother but no sister
her full name is quite a tongue twister
some folks may think she’s very fierce
given that her avocation is to pierce
lotsa nipples her needle has stung
and she’s skewered many a tongue
putting rings in navels of ditzy girls
some of whom feel the urge to hurl
she runs’m through with sharpened steel
secretly chuckles about the pain they feel
her totem animal is a vampire bat
and her familiar is a nutcase of a cat
she’s always been quite a fashion maven
even before the days when she was ravin’
with skin so fair
and jet black hair
wearing a long black velvet cape
and a corset to accentuate her shape
a special fashion knack
for outfits all in black
she’s looked that way for quite a while
but she’s beginning to diversify her style
once the wardrobe of a quasi neo goth
but now we’re seeing a variety of cloth
giving up the ghostly pallour
for some little hints of colour
egad, some floral prints
gasp, some pastel tints
wearing sensible birkenstocks
and cheerful summer frocks
but she’s still quite keen
on the feast of Halloween
throwing parties to carve a Jack’o’Lantern
and sewing costumes without a pattern
unleashing a withering barrage of doom
on trick or treaters without a costume
her palette is no longer monochrome
and she’s designed a really lovely home
she knows full well Martha is a convicted felon
but she’ll still gladly buy what she’s sellin’
never again will we hear her bitchin’
since she got her shiny new kitchen
of glossy birch and polished metal
where she brews fine chai in her kettle
she cooks up quite a tasty meal
hopefully one without veal
towards vegetarianism I gave her a nudge
but she’s far too fond of eating sausage
one thing that distresses me
is her scorn for the brilliant MXC
I find it altogether curious
that show is so hilarious
she sometimes acts a bit goofy and moronic
especially after a few too many gin & tonic
after much debauchery in a toga
she’s now a practitioner of yoga
she used to be quite wild
but then she had a child
her priorities have changed
and schedules are rearranged
her drunken vomit used to draw her parents rebuke
now they can’t help but adore their grandsons puke
despite the fact that he can wail and cry
she really loves her little cutey pie
when did you last go to the doctor, huh, when?
she’ll cluck at me like a proverbial mother hen
I tell her we’re not married
she really loves her little cutey pie
when did you last go to the doctor, huh, when?
she’ll cluck at me like a proverbial mother hen
I tell her we’re not married
still I’m hassled and harried
even though she’s now a mom
she’s still a foxy honeybomb
even though she’s now a mom
she’s still a foxy honeybomb
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