My friend Dawn kept going on about this guy Otto she worked with who had tattoos. When I started at the Aylmer Express I see a guy with a bunch of tattoos on his arms, so I go over and say “hi you must be Otto.”
“No, I’m Ken.”
I ask Dawn, “so who is Otto?”
“That’s Otto. That’s just what I call him cause he reminds me of Otto the school bus driver on the Simpsons.”
Gee Dawn thanks, for making me look like a total ass.
He had spent more than twenty years working there, since he was in high school. In that time he had never once taken a sick day, which I find incredible since his diet consisted of Chuppa-Chups, Vachon products, KFC and McDonalds. Loved heavy metal and classic rock, although he would constantly surprise me by his knowledge of a lot of very obscure stuff. He never, ever invited anyone over to his house, but I have to tell you, I would pay good money to see what his place looks like. It must be absolutely packed to bursting point with records, CDs, DVDs, videos, tapes, magazines.
He claimed to have almost a thousand T-shirts. He had dozens of KISS shirts, and once said that he had over 70 (!) Jethro Tull T-shirts. He would come to work in one of dozens of Rush shirts, with one of many Rush baseball hats. He not only liked Weird Al Yankovic enough to buy his records, but a shirt and matching hat as well. Very cynical, but likable and knowledgeable guy.
He’s the man with thousands of t-shirts
And possibly kookier than Colonel Kurtz
He has dozens of different hats
And his arms are sprinkled with tats
He’s gathered many a DVD horror movie
And lots of music, some of it actually groovy
He likes bands ranging from the obscure
To hackneyed dinosaurs that endure
I have a tendency to mock
His taste in classic rock
Even though most folks think they’re dull
Ken can’t get enough of Jethro Tull
He sure loves that rock and roll
His CD collection is out of control
Some might say he’s a heavy metal maniac
But he’s really an entertainment trivia brainiac
Is his collecting obsession considered clinical
No, but he sure as heck is cynical
I think operating that infernal cutter
Is what turned Ken into an utter nutter
He’ll be at this job longer than English royalty
He’s forever on vacation as a reward for his loyalty
He operates the guillotine
And loves to eat KFC poutine
If you can’t batter it and deep fry it
It’s not likely to be a part of Ken’s diet
He’s addicted to those Ding Dongs
But he’ll never own a big bong
Ken disapproves of any drug
But I sure hope he sometimes gets a hug
“No, I’m Ken.”
I ask Dawn, “so who is Otto?”
“That’s Otto. That’s just what I call him cause he reminds me of Otto the school bus driver on the Simpsons.”
Gee Dawn thanks, for making me look like a total ass.
He had spent more than twenty years working there, since he was in high school. In that time he had never once taken a sick day, which I find incredible since his diet consisted of Chuppa-Chups, Vachon products, KFC and McDonalds. Loved heavy metal and classic rock, although he would constantly surprise me by his knowledge of a lot of very obscure stuff. He never, ever invited anyone over to his house, but I have to tell you, I would pay good money to see what his place looks like. It must be absolutely packed to bursting point with records, CDs, DVDs, videos, tapes, magazines.
He claimed to have almost a thousand T-shirts. He had dozens of KISS shirts, and once said that he had over 70 (!) Jethro Tull T-shirts. He would come to work in one of dozens of Rush shirts, with one of many Rush baseball hats. He not only liked Weird Al Yankovic enough to buy his records, but a shirt and matching hat as well. Very cynical, but likable and knowledgeable guy.
He’s the man with thousands of t-shirts
And possibly kookier than Colonel Kurtz
He has dozens of different hats
And his arms are sprinkled with tats
He’s gathered many a DVD horror movie
And lots of music, some of it actually groovy
He likes bands ranging from the obscure
To hackneyed dinosaurs that endure
I have a tendency to mock
His taste in classic rock
Even though most folks think they’re dull
Ken can’t get enough of Jethro Tull
He sure loves that rock and roll
His CD collection is out of control
Some might say he’s a heavy metal maniac
But he’s really an entertainment trivia brainiac
Is his collecting obsession considered clinical
No, but he sure as heck is cynical
I think operating that infernal cutter
Is what turned Ken into an utter nutter
He’ll be at this job longer than English royalty
He’s forever on vacation as a reward for his loyalty
He operates the guillotine
And loves to eat KFC poutine
If you can’t batter it and deep fry it
It’s not likely to be a part of Ken’s diet
He’s addicted to those Ding Dongs
But he’ll never own a big bong
Ken disapproves of any drug
But I sure hope he sometimes gets a hug
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