Missed Opportunity

Walking back from a friends house last night, I reached an intersection and encountered two, ahem, I believe the politically correct term is “caucasian hip hop fashion victims.”

I’m always switched on, but these two made my scumbag alarm tweak a little harder than usual.

I heard what sounded like a sizable rock dropping on the ground.

“Awww fuck dude, that’s like my favourite rock.”

The other one say to me “Hey buddy, you got any rock we can smoke.” 

Okay. Scumbag alarm is ringing battle stations now. I’m turning around to follow them, when I hear “SMASH!”

I take off after them, running as hard as I can. They reach York, which is 6 lanes, separated by a median. One of them almost gets hit by a car as they try to escape the pissed off giant. There are times when York hasn’t got a car for 500 meters in either direction. Suddenly, right at this crucial point, there are a dozen, dozen and a half cars, in a tight formation. Godgloeiendegodverdomme! I stood there prancing like a schoolboy bursting to go pee. I was pretty damn close to being able to tackle at least one of them, but this cut the distance too much. I had my phone out and called the police during these precious seconds to tell them what was going on. By the time I could get across, they had deked behind a building. I had my F off bright flashlight out, and was using it to search, but I didn’t know if they had gone left or right. I went right, running up the street, talking to the dispatcher at the same time. I couldn’t see them. I shone my light around, into bushes, driveways, under cars. No sign of them. I cut back to the street on the left at the cross street, but they were gone. I ran back to where I heard the glass smash and saw four people out, two with brooms outside a green Subaru station wagon. The affected couple and their neighbours. For no apparent reason, these two losers had hurled a rock through someone’s car window. Causing all sorts of hassle and aggravation, and increased insurance rates. Ggrrrrr!!!!

“Are you the guy that chased them?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I couldn’t catch them.” I told them all that had transpired.

A cruiser pulled up, and gave the cop a quick description of the perps and what I had seen and heard. Another cruiser pulled up and the first one went back to look around for them. I gave the second officer a description, and what they had said.

“Two teenage white males, medium height, medium build, one in a dark hoody and dark ball cap with a flat brim, one in a red hoody and a red ball cap with a flat brim – you know, like every other scumbag in this city. Sorry I can’t give you a better description. Too dark for me to get a better look at them.” Gave him my particulars. Said goodbye to the victims, who thanked me for my efforts, and backtracked to where I had lost them, jogging around for a while in the hopes I could spot them. No luck of course.

I was sort of, kind of hoping that I might be able to nab one and accidentally lean my knee on his head for a while or inadvertently twist his arm up behind his back a little beyond the comfort threshold or something like that. But alas, no such luck. Hate those missed opportunities to lay some pain on someone so richly deserving of a good dose.

I guess someone will argue that it isn’t so big a deal. “Come on, it’s just a rock through a window.” But, yeah, it is a big deal. One day it’s a rock through a car window for kicks, and the next time it’s a rock through a car window to steal stuff, and the next time it’s a rock through a house window to steal stuff – and it just escalates. It’s my neighbourhood, and if I don’t do something, who will? Maybe those two shitstains will think twice about doing it around here, after being chased by an irate behemoth. One can only hope.