Sosoetry – Aylmer Express

I spent a few years living in the lovely little town of Aylmer, working at the Aylmer Express. (Highly recommend them too if you need to get anything printed.) I worked as a film stripper/pre-press tech. I loved the job, and then there was the fun side bonus of messing with people by telling people I was a stripper.

When I left I wrote a little poem about all the fun characters I worked with there. Great bunch, and my leaving there was bittersweet. I definitely didn’t leave cause I didn’t like the job or the people or the company or the town. I’d written about some of them before, but this time got the whole crew in. A rhyming couplet about each one of them.

Anne Dwyre is no shirker,

I’ve really enjoyed being her co-worker

Rick Cooper drives a big white van,

when he gets home he opens a cold beer can

Chris Semchism sometimes stutters,

when I screw up he always mutters

Dave Friesen will soon discover parental joys,

then he’ll learn the real meaning of soggy bottom boys

Tamara David won’t shop at Joe’s No Frills,

and continually suffers from the chills

John Hueston likes sports with an element of danger,

but to most of us he remains a stranger

Anna Chirico Roes works on a magazine for heavy metal flakes,

and calls her Dutch coworker a mangia cakes

Tina Zacharias manages the payroll and the books,

and at times gives her bratty girls disapproving looks

Judging from the griping coming from her orifice,

Wanda Kapogines would be a natural to run for office

Dave Torr was here when I was hired,

now I fear he may be involuntarily retired

Pete Bartsch has quite a range of different voices,

he’s forever uttering quirky noises

Andrew Thompson is quite adept at fixing the QM’s kinks,

but I think he’d rather spend his time on the links

Rob Perry is a fine Aylmer reporter,

even if he is a native New Yorker

Annie Enns blushes quite easily,

especially when we talk about the birds and the (they’re wasps, not) bees

Neil Jeffery runs one of our presses,

Sonya needs to tame his unruly tresses

Ken Russell sucks on a chuppachup,

while cutting jobs that are four up

Carrie Thiessen is a nice christian lass,

but to her mother she displays too much sass

I still scratch my head about Bill Buck,

he sure is a mighty peculiar duck

Judy Hope orders the paper and the stock,

but I doubt she ever dances to any funky rock

Gene Mooney writes about human triumphs and failings,

but I suspect he’d rather be out sailing

Karen Hueston is constantly busy,

runs around so much it makes me dizzy

Doug Kestle keeps the SpeedMaster rollin’,

I sure hope he never again has his vehicle stolen

Bill Dowson sure is an upbeat fellow,

his friendly greetings he always bellows

Dave obviously found Mary Friesen yummy,

that’s why she now has a growing tummy

Working on the paper sends Pam Mortons head a throbbin,

then she goes home to a little handful called Robin

Michelle Barrett frequently says basically,

at least she doesn’t work lackadaisically

Hark do I hear a deep sigh,

it must be Bety Hahn from Delhi

Judy Minor plays the bagpipes,

and is a genius with the brush swipes

I know Julie Zacharias won’t cause any scandals,

it’s because she always wears her jesus sandals

Brenda Miller is very devoted to her duty,

which makes her a huge pain in my petuty

Kelly Klassen’s kids only eat fake cheese,

all I can say to that is “oh please”

Denise Ward is here at all times and at all hours,

which makes me think she has superpowers

Dave Helsdon constructed a really fine camping hammock,

maybe one day we’ll sit around the fire and eat some bannock

Brett Hueston goes really fast on his bikes,

and that punk rock he really likes

Dawn McClintock is my old friend,

I hope she stays that way until the end

Arthur Hueston has a very positive attitude,

to him and others we owe our eternal gratitude