Words of Wisdom from a 4 Year Old – Women

When Anand was still four, I went to the local groceteria with him and his dad. Any other time I’ve been there with him, it seems like all the lasses that work there know him, and greet him by name. He’s a cute, personable kid with blue eyes, long eyelashes and a mop of red curly hair, and a totally outgoing charmer, so no big surprise there.

One of them is named Yasmine, who’s 16, 17, 18, who lives one street over and seems to know him fairly well. I’m standing nearby so I overhear her inviting him to come swimming in their pool.

“Do you know what your number is? I’ll call you and can come over with your mom or dad.”

“No, I don’t know what my telephone number is.”

“Well I’ll give you mine. Then you can call and tell me what yours is.”
As we walk out, Anand proudly clutching the paper with her name and number on it, Andrew and I are trying really hard not to crack up. Wow, the kid is four years old and he’s already got cuties giving him their number.
Unreal.

So Andrew and I start, kind of half jokingly talking to him about girls.
Andrew: “Okay now you don’t want to call her up straight away. Be a little bit coy. Give it a day or so before you call. You don’t want to appear too anxious.”

Me: “And they like it when you tell them they look nice. They always do look nice, but they appreciate you noticing.”
Andrew: “And when you’re talking to a gal, don’t just talk about yourself. Let her talk. Ask her some things that let her talk about herself.”
Me: “And when they come home from the hairdresser, always make sure to compliment them.”
Andrew: “And most importantly, if a woman ever asks ‘do these jeans’…”
Me: “…or skirt…”
Andrew: “ ‘…make my bum look too big?’ it’s really important that you say NO!”

Then Anand, with the innocence and naivete that only a four year is capable of, says:

“But daddy, what if her bum is too big?”

I thought I was going to choke I was laughing so hard.
Andrew: “Honesty is a good trait, but when it comes to women, sometimes you have to be diplomatic and tell them what they want to hear.”
Anand: “But daddy it’s not good to lie.”
Andrew: “That’s very true, but when it comes to a woman you love, it’s okay to tell a little fib when it comes to her bum. They’re a bit weird that way.”
Anand: “Girls are confusing.”
Even more laughter.
Me: “Yes. They can be.”
Andrew: “Yes, but you’ll love them anyway.”