Saturday 5 February 2011

Alliteration Addicted Advertisan

I keep up a pretty steady volume of correspondence with a large number of people, on a wide variety of topics. Years ago I signed off a letter with Thomas the Tall Tattooed Typographer, which is a pretty apt description of me. A while after that I signed off a letter with Thomas the Gregarious Green Giant. Which again, sums me up pretty well.

An “alliteration” is the fancy five dollar word.

Whenever I sign off I try to put a little thing behind my name that is germane to the letter I just wrote. Something that somehow summarizes the letter. Sometimes it is just one word that is relevant, sometimes two, and sometimes I score a hat trick and get three that make sense. Actually I think for the vast bulk of them all three words are plausible. For me they’re just fun little brain exercises, some word play to keep my brain working. Sometimes I have to make up a bit of a nonsense word to make it work.

I really don’t sit and agonize over any of these. If it takes me more than a minute or two to think of something, then never mind. I’ve got too many other things I need to do. But I hate to disappoint any of my fans by omitting a clever signoff. And I’ve managed to come up with 350 of these silly things.


Clearly I am not a “buffoon, weenie, twit, nutjob, pinhead, degenerate, freak, oddball, loony, geek, dork, weirdo, screwball or klutz.” I just put those in because it was the first word that came to mind. 

I have included a short description, and provided the links that prompted the signoff, to give you a sense of what the letters were about. (The ephemeral nature of many sites and URLs being what it is, I can’t guarantee they will still be active.)

Abnormal Avian Academic the US Geological Service bird identification guide
Abominable Arcade Avoider I avoided arcades like the plague as a kid but a friend loved them
Acid Art Appreciator the site of visionary artist Alex Grey
Acknowledging Article Archivist links to some articles that mention the original Cottage 13
Adrenalized Acrobat Admirer some acrobats in France doing some of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen
Alliteration Addicted Algonquian informing a friend down in the States about the wonders of Algonquin Park
Almighty Artist Annunciator long time friend and multi media maestro Anthony Veilleux
Altitudinous Astronaut Admirer describing the incredible exploits of Col. Joseph Kittinger
Ambidextrous Ambient Ambulateer correspondence with Ishq, one of my fave ambient artists. And I am quite ambidextrous
Amsterdam Artist Appreciator sending a sculptor friend a link to an artist in Amsterdam
Anabolic Achievement Agnostic a discussion with my brother why I had no doubt about Lance Armstrong’s doping 
Antiseptic Adornment Advocator a CBC story about setting up proper tattoo studios in Canadian prisons 
Appalled Amish Admirer a story dealing with wanton behaviour by young Anabaptists
Astute Armament Aficionado discussing why I enjoy rifle shooting
Automobile Averse Artist still steadfastly refuse to get a car
Avatar Avowing Avenger about posting avatars in a discussion forum
Awesome Amazon Adorer admitting that the only reason I liked Nashville Pussy was Corey Parks, the 6'3" former bassist
Bagpipe Bashing Bastard a bunch of jokes to my bagpipe playing friend. It’s an easy target I know, but they were so funny
Blade Busting Buffoon about my foolishly breaking the tip off of a knife
Bloody Bodacious Blogger sharing my, at the time new, blog with a friend 
Bodacious Boat Builder telling a friend that I would be thrilled to help him build a canoe
Bodacious Buccaneer Buddy a link to a Captain Jack Sparrow fansite, for a friend who had sculpted a bust of the character
Bone Breaking Bouncer in my short stint as a bouncer, I took down a knife wielding crackhead. He went to the hospital. I didn’t
Bong Building Borealist I only witnessed said event, I have no personal knowledge of such subject matter
Booby-lovin’ Bluetech Buff what can I say, I’m a guy and boobies are great. As is Bluetech
Boot Buying Bohemian providing a friend with some info about Oakley assault boots
Breast Bag Browser enlisted the aid of friends when I couldn’t find Gerber breast milk storage bags in stores near me
Busy Buddhist Bushwanderer a link to the incredible tibetart.com 17,000 images, from a variety of museums
Cactus Curious Canadian discussing the prickly pear cactus with my buddy Thad down in Florida
Cagey Customs Contemptor explaining my reticence about crossing the US border to see my pal Leo Zulueta
Camouflage Collecting Commando a link to bimboflage
Canoeing Camp’mups Connoisseur a friend had asked about canoeing in the French River area
Cantankerous Carless Crank discussing the Gulf oil spill 
Capable Canadian Canoeist talking about a canoe trip to Algonquin
Captivated Cassette Cleaner describing the program Magix Music Cleaning Lab, to digitize and clean up old recordings
Carbine Craving Caver voicing my disapproval of Canada’s gun control laws and exploring a cave in the Niagara Escarpment
Career Changing Canoeist discussing why I find building boats far more appealing than web design
Cat Cuddling Curmudgeon I may be grumpy at times, but I like cats
Cemetery Census Counter walking through the local cemetery, I’ve sadly noticed wives live far longer than their husbands
Charging Chicken Champion urban chickens and changing animal control bylaws
Cheeky Cubist Cheat Mr.PicassoHead
Chiclet Chomping Chewbacca a most funky little company. The gum ones are possily the most fun
Childbirth Congratulations Conferrer offering my felicitations to Kim Stanford on the birth of her little fellow
Citizenship Change Chaser a link to the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs to find out about dual citizenship
Coincidental Conspiracy Congregator a recounting of some really astonishing small world tales that have occurred in my life
Cold Clawed Carpenter describing my hellacious experiences building houses in -25°C
Colourbox Craving Crank expressing my sadness that Colourbox completely gave up on music
Comedic Commercial Connoisseur the brilliant Shards o Glass commercial
Comic Collecting Cobber an online edition of Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman
Conservative Conundrum Communicator my sign off in an intriguing political debate
Conservation Conscious Conceptualist letting my sister know about Crawford Lake Conservation Area
Conspiracy Confronting Contrarian I have very little patience for conspiracy theory bullshit
Consummate Canoe Constructor I take great care when building wooden vessels
Cool Camo Craver a site showing off the capabilities of Crye’s brilliant Multi-Cam pattern
Cost Conscious Creator I like making things, but I try to be as frugal about it as I can
Crafty Cop Coincidentallist chatting with a cop on a gear forum, and the next day I see him on TV  
Crafty Crepuscular Canadian discussing the Church of Craft with my sister
Crazy Cottage Caretaker a link to the original Cottage 13
Creepy Crawly Crackpot link for Dawn, who is very interested in beetles
Cretin Cranium Cracker discussions that led to the SmackSack 
Crustaceous Crafty Canoer about going to a Stitch’n’ Bitch
Crusty Celsius Counter explaining to an American why the Metric system is so much better
Crusty Country Cusser telling a friend into alt country to check out Drive By Truckers
Cultivated Cutlery Connoisseur talking at length about high quality knives
Damascus Dirk Doxologist knives that are some of the most beautiful art I’ve ever seen – Taigoo
Dastardly Dashing Daredevil talking about walking around on 2x4 walls two stories up
Defective Device Desirer acknowledging the flaws of the iPod but confessing to wanting one anyway
Dehydrator Destroying Dipstick using an old Ronco that came close to causing an electrical fire 
Deliciousness Dessicating Dork telling a canoeing pal about my dehydrating of foodstuffs for an upcoming trip
Delightful Dutch Degenerate probably some sort of off colour joke or something
Delinquent Decepticon Delineator telling Stef about DIY origami Transformers
Deliriously Depraved Dubster sending Watershell and Incarnate an essay on dub that mentioned them
Demented Dub Downloader mentioning the transfer of dub CDs into MP3s on my computer
Destitute Device Designer I make stuff and I’m damn poor
Detestable Doughnut Despiser telling a friend down in Florida why I find Krispy Kreme doughnuts vile and over hyped
Devout Device Devotee talking about my love of gadgets
Dictionary Devouring Dork explaining why I know the spelling of a vast amount of words
Digital Design Draftsman rendering some of my inventions and creations and designs
Diorama Directing Dipstick I’ve created a diorama out of  Playmobil based on the Green Man mythology
Discontinuation Disappointment Displayer professing to Blake my annoyance at Cold Steel’s deletion of an item
Disturbed Display Distributor a link to the skewed art of Naoti Hattori
Doughhead Defending Doorman relaying an amusing anecdote about trying to protect a drunken groper from an irate family
Dramatic Doppelganger Discoverer informing Kathryn that for the movie of her life, Rachel Weisz should star as the lead
Drug Devouring Druid a Sunday afternoon sojourn into the deep woods and needing to take some anti-histamines for allergies
Drunk Dragonfly Driver a spectacular video of a guy breaking every law of aerodynamics with a remote control helicopter
Dubious Decoration Debunker asking Azl if this story was for real. Seems more than a little kooky
Dubtribe Dazzled Debauchee gushing forth with my delight at having seen the awe inspiring Dubtribe
Dumb Dual Dutchman why it’s taking me so long to become a dual citizen
Electronic Exchange Enthusiast describing my love of email as a communications medium
Eloquent Electronica Enthusiast informing a friend of a track she should check out for her radio show
Employment Exploring Egghead mentioning my job hunt
Encyclopedic Envelope Ergotomist I read encyclopedias for fun, and share envelopes of arcane information 
Endless E-mail Emitter I keep up a pretty steady correspondence with a bunch of different folks
Energetic Equipment Espouser championing Kifaru packs, Wiggys sleeping bags and Danner boots
Ergotic Ecological Epitomist speaking of people who became eco conscious because of psychedelics
Erotic Electronic Eccentric a smutty site for a friend who is a photographer
Escarpment Exploring Emigré a jaunt around some of the waterfalls surrounding Hamilton
Ethnic Escapade Explicator a trip to Serbian deli to buy good but cheap jam and juice
Experienced Examination Expediter laughing about fast I whipped through my exams
Extemporaneous Eagle Eyeballer sharing my excitement at sighting a bald eagle
Extraterrestrial English Educator telling a friend why I wouldn’t be able to take her up on her offer to teach English in Asia
Faithless Female Fatalist telling my gal pal Ada why I have such a cynical view of women
Fast Flash Fusilier a Flash animation describing the inner workings of the brilliant M-1 Garand rifle
Fatally Flawed Fashionista apprising a friend of Worn Journal
Favourable Folk Festivalist wasn’t sure what to expect, but I loved the Greenbelt Harvest Picnic
Favourable Freedom Flagwaver letting everyone know that their freedoms were expanded just a touch
Fecal Flinging Flapdragon describing my blog as little more than me flinging poo at the walls of my monkey cage
Female Form Fan a poem describing how sad I was to hear that Heidi Klum wouldn’t be posing naked for Playboy
Festival Foregoing Fuddyduddy why I decided to forego the Harvest Festival this year
Fine Feline Fancier expressing my interest in getting a Maine Coon
Flaccid Flabbergasted Flatulator just one I jotted off for fun. Totally not true
Flavourful Falafel Fan explaining to my misguided niece that falafels are indeed delicious
Forum Frequenting Freeman I’m a regular wag at a few different outdoor activity and gear related forums
Fragile Falcon Fancier sharing the story and photos of the merlin falcon
Frazzled FaceBook Fan it’s fun, but it does squander a lot of time 
Friendly Farm Fan a trip to visit friends in the Bruce
Frightfully Forgetful Fellow I sent someone a note and forget to add the link it was about. Oops
Frisky Fabric Finder discussing high tech fabrics with a fellow gear maker
Frolicking Fractal Fungivore something else to boggle the brains of the Caution Pointers
Funky Festival Freak info about the Harvest Festival
Funky Frequency Freestyler mentioning to Lex that he should check out Tipper
Gangly Geodesic Gadfly I’m a lanky fan of the great Buckminster Fuller
Ganjalicious Gadget Guy the great site of Wired founder Kevin Kelly, who I think, uhm, likes to uh, smoke pot, apparently. Not me though
Gargantuan Gardening Gadgeteer I’m big and I liketo shop at Lee Valley
Gargantuan Green Gadfly a friendly admonition to acquaintances to please recycle and compost
Gargoylish Gothic Ghoul some eerie, spooky, scary, surreal links for Yolanda
Gazetteer Gazing Guide the aerial photos and maps the city of Hamilton has put online
Goofy Google Goombah Googling my own name and finding something very amusing written about me
Green Gear Geek relating a meeting with fellow geardos
Gregarious Green Giant I’m friendly, I’m eco friendly and freakishly tall
Groovy Glove Guru letting my piercer and tattooist friends know about a source for black nitrile gloves
Guinness Guzzling Goofball relating drinking a little too much of Irelands finest
Hackeysacking Hamilton Harrier as hippy as it sounds, I love hackysack. Plus I ran cross country
Halloween Horror Hipster an image by Luke Brown, as a potential idea for Yolanda’s Halloween sleeve
Hamilton House Hammerer more tales of my stint as a framing carpenter
Happy Hempy Hippy I’m a firm advocate of the use of hemp
Happy House Head a link to 1600(!) house DJ sets
Hawkish Hippy Heretic a fairly lengthy dissertation why I think Michael Moore is a disingenuous windbag
Heighty Hill Hiker a recounting of clambering about the Niagara Escarpment
Helical Hydroponic Herbalist I love spirals, and is there anything better than fresh basil in the middle of winter
High Hermitic Hollander a story about how the Dutch are the tallest people on Earth
Hiphop Hating Hammertonian not much of a fan of the music, but mainly the shitheels that seem drawn to it
Hornet Hating Hemphead oooh I loathe those evil little devils
Icy Immersion Informer letting fellow canoeists know about Cold Water Bootcamp
Illustrious Illustrationary Inspector praising my buddy Neil’s fine illustrations
Immunoglobular Illustration Imparter the truly staggering work of Hybrid Medical Animation
Impoverished Internet Investigator some fun, neat, groovy links for my pal Dawn-ee-O
Inadequate Industrial Iconographer mentioning why I was {initially} incapable of watching Majik by Ohgr
Incandescent Imagery Imbiber the stellar photography of Jim Brandenburg
Increasingly Intolerant Infidel making my feelings about “the Religion of Peace known
Indica Ignorant Insecticider while I had to tell a pal I know nothing about pot plants, I do know that these deer fly patches work
Indonesian Insight Interrogatee in response to a friends query about travel in Sumatra
Ineffectual Internet Internee thanking a pal for explaining an obscure feature of my email software
Infinitely Inventive Imbecile some of my creations
Ingenious Improvisation Informator informing folks about the wonderful Howtoons
Inspired Infidel Insurrectionist a link to the Internet Infidel Discussion Forum
Inspired Insect Investigator telling an entomologist pal how much I enjoyed Wicked Bugs
Internet Information Intelligencer letting a friend know where in lovely Kincardine the internet cafes are
Irritating Ingrate Immolator relaying a tale about the scathing treatment a rude individual got from me
Islamic Imbecile Incinerator expressing my disgust with people who use “god” as an excuse for heinous acts of violence
Kaleidoscopic Knot Kook a link to both a site about shoe lace tying and about kaleidoscopes
Keen Kayak Konstructor proudly relating my kayak building efforts
Keen Kit Kibbitzer always eager to offer up my opinions about Cordura gear
Klein Kinder Kalachakrist one letter oddly enough touched on Klein Bottles, a cool Kinder toy I got, and the Kalachakra for World Peace
Knife Kaputzing Klutz breaking knives. Doh!
Knife Knapping Knave a discussion with a friend in Nevada about knapping obsidian to make tools
Kooky Key Karrier cool Turkish key carrying gadget
Lancaster Loving Loogan always love hearing and seeing this old warhorse
Languid Lanky Lanarkian I’m mellow, tall and lived in beautiful Lanark
Lanky Laconic Laminator explaining to a friend how I do up my maps for hiking
Left Leaning Libertarian people have a hard time pigeonholing my ideas
Lego Loving Lunatic photos of some of my Lego creations
Lesbian Literature Lover telling a friend that I was already well aware of Suzie Bright
Library Loving Labourer some links to online libraries for my sister
Limitless Lilliputian Limericist sculptures the size of the dot over this i
Link Losing Letterer apologizing to everyone for a great link that went down shortly after I sent it
Lively Literature Locator links to several online collections of old children’s literature
Long Lost Londoner catching up with my old pal David Worrall
Loogan Loathing Lad describing why I dislike no class white trash
Lovable Lunar Loony a friend who was born 10 days before me, also has as an early memory, the moon landing
Luminous Light Lover extolling the virtues of my Fenix light
Lyrical Logo Letterer a letter discussing some logo ideas I did for a friend down in Australia
Magnanimous Measurement Malapert an awesome online conversion calculator
Malignant Maple Massacrer telling Stef that the Manitoba maple growing in his front yard was not a very desirable tree
Mandala Making Magician images of the sand mandala made at the Kalachakra for World Peace in Toronto
Map Making Maven I should have been a cartographer
Martial Methods Messenger some interesting self defense links for a kung fu instructor friend
Masterful Maquillage Maniac a link to a gallery of movie make up
Meandering Mead Metaphysicist asking a friend if he had ever consumed mead
Median Map Minder aerial photos of York County, which my sister lives on the border of
Medically Minded Meatlessist musings on what is required in a wilderness first aid kit. And I eschewed meat for a long time
Mixed Media Manipulator signoff for the email contain the Crystal Palace images
Modular Megaforce Medic advice to a friend on putting together a first aid kit
Monolithic Mushroom Masticator finding a patch of morels. Mmmmm yummy morels
Musical Mixology Maven my sign off in a daggy fan letter to MixMaster Morris. Oh my gawd I wrote a letter to Irresistible Force!
Mustachioed Muscle Man let my beard grow for about two and a half months. Not sure I like it
Naughty Nautical Nihilist making Yolanda aware of the Goth Cruise
Needle Negative Nutjob explaining to my former neighbour (a nurse) why I wouldn’t be getting a flu shot
Nelumbonic Nirvana Nabob a ramble about Buddhism
Night Navigating Naturalist a tale of wandering through forest trails at night
Noteworthy Nemesis Neutralizer a chat with Anthony about the work he did on a character for Resident Evil 2
Noticeable Nocturnal Ninja describing why my childhood dreams of being a spy were dashed due to my height
Numinous Nuclear Nullifier explaining my opposition to nuclear power in light of the damage caused in Chernobyl
Occasionally Overwhelmed Observer describing how incredibly moved I was by this link
Ontario Orienteering Oddball an absolutely fantastic land navigation resource
Opponent Overcoming Oblate more self defense links for my kung fu instructor friend
Optical Oddity Observer an optical illusion site for Ru and Lex
Optimal Optical Optimist a link to a guy who made glasses held on by a bridge piercing
Opuscular Optical Overseer another optical illusion site for the Legion of Green Men
Orbular Opium Opticialist asking a knowledgeable friend some questions about poppies
Oriental Origami Orienteer a really neat way to fold a T-shirt
Pagan Party Participant telling a friend what to expect at the Om Festival
Painful Punishment Provider stating why I think a wide variety of criminals deserve a good thrashing
Panopticonic Painting Palaeoethnobotanist the beautiful paintings of Winnipeg’s Robert Pasternak
Panoramic Perspective Provider a link for a friend homesick for Vancouver, showing 360° panoramic views of the city
Particularly Peavish Patriot a little rant about people who don’t realize how lucky they are to live in Canada
Pattern Perusing Perambulator working on pants and making patterns for them
Peculiar Pen Pal a letter to an old pal, who is well aware of my quirks
Pedophile Pulverizing Pantheist making my feelings known to a forum moderator about someone making light of child abuse
Peeved Product Protectionist got a nice cap as a gift, all very Canadiana stuff...that’s made in China
Perambulatory Packs Purchaser explaining why I gladly spend money on Kifaru packs 
Pharmaceutical Phobic Phraseologist explaining to someone why I am hesitant take any sort of chemical medicine
Phenomenal Pal Panegyrizer I’ve written a few amusing biographical poems about some of my amazing friends
Phenomenal Phenakistoscope Palindromist a link about optical toys
Photoshop Prank Puller pasting a picture of Anand’s face into a Carrot Top movie poster
Pierced Poetry Producer I have piercings and write poems
Pigmented Plasma Provider a little rant about Canadian Blood Services and their inane prohibition against being tattooed
Pill Popping Postholedigger recounting the aches after a few days of building decks
Pink Poodle Punter a NFB short features a character with pink hair based on my pal Zoe, and I see humor in kicking tiny dogs
Pinup Pining Pinhead the terrific pinup drawings of Bawidamann
Pinup Photograph Pilgrim the terrific pinup photos of Winkytiki
Pitiful Protestor Patronizer making fun of mental ward escapees and their signs at a peace rally
Pixelated Page Pamphleteer a Canadian online magazine, Horizon Zero
Playmobil Purchasing Pipelighter asking my sister which Playmobil kits my nieces already have
Plywood Pounding Peon more talk of carpentry
Political Philosophy Postulator discussing the elections with Neil
Political Process Perspectivist talking about the pitiful choices in the US election with Jay
Pot Puffing Poet I said that I only puffed pot to make myself look cool. Honest.
Precious Plastic Pursuer trying to find adjustable siamese slik-clips is near on impossible
Precise Punctuation Perfectionist teasing my niece about her text speak in an email.
Prescription Pill Proscriber my dismay at finding out a distant cousin of mine had killed herself by abusing prescription pills
Pretensionless Paddling Photographer making fun of the twaddle that accompanied some actually quite nice canoeing photos
Progeny Protecting Pragmatist a link to an editorial that states children are not in any great danger from kidnappers
Psychedelic Pencil Pusher drawings done under the influence of LSD
Punctilious Punk Pundit history of the London, Ontario punk rock scene
Quizzical Queuejumping Quasimodo I’m curious, lead rather than follow, and I’m a freak of nature
Quick Quintallic Quester I always move fast on my adventures and weigh exactly a hundred kilos
Quiet Quadraphonic Quizzer asking my buddy Watershell about sound editing software
Quintessential Quote Quipper I like reading quotes and sometimes share a choice one
Quixotic Quirky Querist I tilt at windmills, likely thought of as a bit different, and have a boundless curiosity about everything
Quodlibetting Quandary Questioner a deep philosophical discussion {well, as deep as it gets with a goofball like me}
Rally Relaying Rhymester letting my rally loving pals know about Ontario Rally Sports
Rambling Rave Ranger a lengthy article about my impressions of the rave movement
Rapidly Reacting Raver when I went to raves, I always brought my first aid kit. Never needed it though
Raster Rearranging Rasta offering a friend some assistance with PhotoShop questions
Resourceful Recipe Researcher a link to my sister of online recipe resources
Responsible Rifle Rascal speaking of my desire to take up rifle shooting again
Ribald Rhyme Reciter a poem about Captain Jean-Marc Peakhard
Robot Rescue Researcher a link to a short film about a CGI robot cop in Johannesburg
Roundabout Route Rouster a link to Canadian Canoe Routes
Royal Rumsfeld Rumbler the thousand fighting styles of Donald Rumsfeld
Salacious Salak Savourer a friend brought me back from SE Asia a sculpted salak
Savvy Scorp Sharpener letting Ross from Wood Trekker know about Leonard Lee’s Guide to Sharpening
Savvy Sculpture Spotter telling a pal about a cool sculpture
Savvy Surefooted Survivalist I am a hiker prepared for just about any eventuality
Scarred Scrabbling Scribe I have plenty of scars, love Scrabble and write lots
Scuba Scouting Scalliwag providing info to a friend about prices of scuba gear
Scurrilous Sculpture Scoper description of my awe at seeing an Evan Penny exhibition
Scurrilous Skull Scalliwag let’s under the face it – skulls are cool
Secret Spork Scrabbler I admitted to a friend I play online Scrabble with that I’m a member of the secret SporkForce
Seditious Seed Sower letting a gardener pal know about a few local seed suppliers
Sewing Savvy Savant discussing with a fellow geardo the differences between various sewing machines
Shitty Snapshot Shaper-upper sending back a photo of a group of people, with my ugly mug cropped out of it.
Sex Shop Scoper-outer telling a friend who makes corsets about a fetish shop here in town. 
Sinatra Song Singalonger a friend is a fan of the Chairman of the Board, and I knew she would enjoy this very unPC spoof song
Sinister Sinistral Sister describing my nun costume for a Halloween party
Slang Slingin’ Sloganeer signoff for a letter which featured me using an inordinate amount of slang
Sleepy Spaghetti Slurper eating a late night pasta dinner and trying to write at the same time
Snapshot Sharing Screwball the signoff for a letter that included some photos
Somnolent Solitary Solstitialist I was born on June 21, so I coined a new word to describe myself - a solstitialist
Sombre Sonorous Soloist I have a deep voice, I’m often serious, and I am a loner
Sore Sound Sorter describing a 19 hour day of recording vinyl into my computer
Soulful Sound Subscriber drum machines not soulful? Nonsense I say.
Sound Seeking Simpleton describing my glee at finding a sound file of a Rolls Royce Merlin engine - love that sound!
Soy Solution Soothsayer answering my sister’s questions about Textured Vegetable Protein
Special Spider Speculator spider webs built under the influence of various drugs
Specialized Speed Spectator three madmen on motorbikes moving at close to 300km an hour
Spectacular Spiral Splicer describing the creation of a large arm tattoo
Spirited Spiralgirl Supporter professing my delight at knowing the wonderful Veronica Dabis, aka  Spiralgirl
Spirituality Seeking Seditionary discussing spiritual matters with my sister
Stentorian Stereoscopic Steganographer I have a deep voice and dig ViewMaster and codes
Strict Sterilization Stickler expressing my anger about an unlicensed, autoclave-less home tattooist, and the tepid response from public health
Stupendous Suspended Stuntman a link to suspension trauma
Successless Substandard Surfer telling the irrepressible Don Peddy about a surfing book he should check out
Sumatran Sensation Sagaist recounting my experience of going to visit Marc Emery in Sumatra
Suspended Sleep Supporter extolling the virtues of sleeping in a hammock
Sword Sourcing Sorcerer asking my knife dealer, if he could procure an obscure sword for a friend
Sword Swinging Swami a link to a great little Japanese animated film about a sword
Symbol Syllabus Syndicalist a link to symbols.com for all my dermagraphologist pals
Synth Sound Swain letting Lex and Rew know about a site that sells synth sounds by Richard Barbieri of Japan fame
Tactical Tale Teller an epic poem about a gear forum
Tall Tattooed Typographer sums me up quite well
Tall Thinking Thingy I can’t remember exactly what this was in reference to, probably my geniusence or intelligosity
Tall Tibetan Tactician sharing the amazing sand mandala
Tardy Typographic Twit my brilliant designs sometimes take a little longer to finesse than I originally thought
Terribly Terrific Teetotaller not much of a drinker, and never have been
Terrifically Tanned Technobabbler working outside for a month meant I was as brown as toast
Teutonic Techno Tabulator a link to the German techno/dub label Thinner, with dozens of free downloadable MP3s
Therapeutic Turntable Theorist (a link to a repair and fine tuning guide for the Technics 1200 turntable)
Thief Thrashing Toxophilite an amusing tale about my neighbours catching a dumb thief. I’m also into primitive archery
Tibet Touting Tactician I told a friend on a business trip to Beijing to spray paint pro Tibet slogans in Tiananmen Square
Tibetan Tattoo Touter I sent an online pen pal some photos of Sunboy’s exceptional tattoos
Tippling Tripping Toboganner about going tobogganing while drinking hot toddies
Tired Trail Traverser about going for a 35 click hike along the Bruce Trail and through the Dundas Valley
Toddler Tautophony Talker some photos of my adorable nephew
Topical Topographic Tipster letting a fellow canoe tripper know about the superb Adventure Maps
Topnotch Trouser Tactician a review of the incredible new combat pants by Crye
Towering Tot Toter a photo to my mom depicting me carrying a friends daughter around on my shoulders
Trail Traipsing Transcendentalist describing a Sunday hike
Transformed Tattooed Theantrope getting a truly fantastic birthday present from the long admired Leo Zulueta
Trekking Toronto Tourist chronicling one of my usual mad tabs across Toronto
Trippy Timeshifting Tunneler one of the coolest pieces of art I’ve ever seen. Not quite as good as, but pretty fun nonetheless…
Triskaidekaphilic Thaumatropic Tryptaminer the relationship between the number 13 and zoetrope
Two Toed Toad I actually have a full complement of toes and I am a mammal
Ukrainian Uberbabe Uxoriator agreeing with a pal that the woman in this story is indeed a knockout
Ultimate Underground Urchin a tale about exploring a cave
Unschooled Underachieving Uncialist a letter to the ever brilliant Seth Rowanwood, commending his work
Unusual Utensil Utilizer eating utensils in the shape of construction vehicles
Vasectomy Vacillating Vree a discussion about vasectomies and that they aren’t so “troublefree”   
Vodka Variable Vanguardist apparently you can turn the worst vodka into the best vodka, all with a simple Brita filter
Very Vivacious Victualist a link to SlowFood
Video Viewing Verbalist a link to a ten year old film that my ex girlfriend is in. Shows my old apartment and everything
Video Villain Vapouriser a rare occurrence; I played a video game
Viking Vestige Verbaliser a site chronicling viking culture
Vintage Vehicle Venerator an organization that restores WW2 aircraft and old cars
Vinyl Vocabulary Voyageur stressing to a doubter that analogue sounds far better than digital
Viridescent Vest Venerator telling my neighbour Andrew Kent that the rigs he designed for JTF 2 are really impressive
Wasp Waisted Wastrel a few different links about corsetry to Yolanda who was taking a course to make them
Waterfront Wayfinding Wizard telling Dawn how to get to the old Hamilton Harbour Commission building 
Web Wandering Weenie a generic signoff for some sort of groovy internet discovery
Whelmed Wave Whiffer talking about how much I love the song These Waves by Brook/Nooten
Wicked Witch Whipper a link to a Canadian Wicca forum
Wire Wiping Wiz I took a photo of Bryces mural, but erased the wire that went through it
Witty Whistle Wetter a link to Chiff + Fipple, a site devoted to the tin whistle
Wondrous Waterfall Watcher informing someone that Hamilton is home to dozens of waterfalls
Wood Whacking Weirdo describing some carpentry task or other
Wool Wearing Walker extolling the virtues of wool
Wounded Woodcraft Writer I nicked my finger with a knife while doing some research for an aboskills article I was writing
Yarn Yearning Yeti telling my sister about the fantastic Stitch ’N Bitch by Debbie Stoller
Yummy Young Yomper yomping is slang for hiking long distances with a heavy pack
Zany Zealot Zapper a gut bustingly funny article I found about someone’s experience zapping himself with a Taser
Zealous Zoetrope Zombie a link to PCONHQ about zoetropes
Zesty Zombie Zeteticist turned out he already knew her, but I sent Anthony a link to Iantha Evitts, a SFX make-up artist

2 comments:

  1. Vastly superior to the teenaged antics of me and a friend, where we tried to find alliterative terms which aimed to describe a manual form of self pleasure... I recall 'polishing the pachyderm' and 'whacking the weasel' as two popular favourites!

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  2. Hi Thomas,

    You write; “For me they’re just fun little brain exercises, some word play to keep my brain working.
    Sometimes I have to make up a bit of a nonsense word to make it work”.

    That reminds me of a boy, a long time ago, that could talk fluently backwards. Hilarious!

    Speaking about “brain exercises”

    Your gift of playing with words is phenomenal. Especially this one.


    It’s giving me great pleasure reading your blogs.


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