About a half dozen years ago, I worked for a few months framing houses.
Worst! Job! Ever!
The being up on a roof in -20ºC weather sucked, no doubt about it. But what really made it into an ordeal was the asswipe I worked for. I can’t say there have been that many people I wanted to beat the ever living shit out of. He is one of the few. If there is a map of Fuckheadistan, he’s off in the uncharted parts. Just an unpleasant little man, who seemed to have some anger management issues. I’m a calm human being, and people who yell and scream and fly off the handle about the smallest thing, gain very little traction with me. Hey I’m new to this, how about just calmly explaining it to me. Not telling me how to do something, and then freaking out because I didn’t do it quite the way you think it ought to be done – yeah right.
I could regale you for a while with stories about what a shitstain he was, but let me quickly relate one.
It’s brutally, make you whimper cold out. Snow and ice on everything. I go out behind the house to take a piss (which when you have multiple layers on is always an adventure). I kick a masons trowel out from beneath the snow with my boot. Obviously the Polish bricklayers working on the completed house beside us must have dropped it, and couldn’t find it back. They’re not around because below a certain temperature they just can’t work. So, being a nice guy, my thought process is to pick it up and give it back to them when they show up next. Hey, we’re all in this shit together, so be a mensch. Maybe they’ll be appreciative and buy us some coffees or something. I put it between some studs in a corner, it’s out of the way, cool. A few days later, anusface picks it up and hurls it as far as he can, over the fence onto the golf course that bordered the development.
I’m absolutely dumbfounded.
“What the hell did you do that for?!”
“It was pissing me off.”
It...was.........pissing you off?!? Huh? It’s an inanimate object, out of your way, and......just........I got nothin’...
What an asshole. Just thinking about the whole experience makes me want to go and knee him in the face a few times. Prick.
when Rob Weber is your boss
getting sacked is no great loss
even amongst other framers
his foul temper is famous
sometimes he’s fairly calm
then he explodes like a bomb
there’s just no telling
when he’ll start yelling
he shouts himself hoarse
his manner is fairly coarse
he’s a total spaz
like a cartoon Taz
happiest when he’s screaming
meting out an ass reaming
sometimes he’s fairly mellow
most times he just bellows
he has about as much patience
as a mob of hungry Haitians
more like a tempestuous preacher
not at all like a gentle teacher
no matter how fast you scurry
he still screams to hurry
even without an ouchy
he’s bitter and grouchy
I’d hate to see that bastard
when he gets plastered
he’s so goddamn irritable
he makes everyone miserable
his comments are always critical
and makes snide remarks so cynical
minor faults he likes to seek out
so he has an excuse to freak out
just keep on sawing and hammering
so you don’t have to hear his yammering
he makes a lousy job even worse
oh no here comes yet another curse
cocksucker!
motherfucker!
not likely to get any praise
never mind the idea of a pay raise
forget about a compliment
he’d rather hit you with an implement
What a fucking cock.
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