Alliteration Addicted Advertisan

I keep up a pretty steady volume of correspondence with a large number of people, on a wide variety of topics. Years ago I signed off a letter with Thomas the Tall Tattooed Typographer, which is a pretty apt description of me. A while after that I signed off a letter with Thomas the Gregarious Green Giant. Which again, sums me up pretty well.

An “alliteration” is the fancy five dollar word.

Whenever I sign off I try to put a little thing behind my name that is germane to the letter I just wrote. Something that somehow summarizes the letter. Sometimes it is just one word that is relevant, sometimes two, and sometimes I score a hat trick and get three that make sense. Actually I think for the vast bulk of them all three words are plausible. For me they’re just fun little brain exercises, some word play to keep my brain working. Sometimes I have to make up a bit of a nonsense word to make it work.

I really don’t sit and agonize over any of these. If it takes me more than a minute or two to think of something, then never mind. I’ve got too many other things I need to do. But I hate to disappoint any of my fans by omitting a clever signoff. And I’ve managed to come up with 350 of these silly things.

Clearly I am not a “buffoon, weenie, twit, nutjob, pinhead, degenerate, freak, oddball, loony, geek, dork, weirdo, screwball or klutz.” I just put those in because it was the first word that came to mind. 

I have included a short description, and provided the links that prompted the signoff, to give you a sense of what the letters were about. (The ephemeral nature of many sites and URLs being what it is, I can’t guarantee they will still be active.)

Abnormal Avian Academic the US Geological Service bird identification guide

Abominable Arcade Avoider I avoided arcades like the plague as a kid but a friend loved them

Acid Art Appreciator the site of visionary artist Alex Grey

Acknowledging Article Archivist links to some articles that mention the original Cottage 13

Adrenalized Acrobat Admirer some acrobats in France doing some of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen

Alliteration Addicted Algonquian informing a friend down in the States about the wonders of Algonquin Park

Almighty Artist Annunciator long time friend and multi media maestro Anthony Veilleux
Altitudinous Astronaut Admirer describing the incredible exploits of Col. Joseph Kittinger

Ambidextrous Ambient Ambulateer correspondence with Ishq, one of my fave ambient artists. And I am quite ambidextrous
Amsterdam Artist Appreciator sending a sculptor friend a link to an artist in Amsterdam
Anabolic Achievement Agnostic a discussion with my brother why I had no doubt about Lance Armstrong’s doping 

Antiseptic Adornment Advocator a CBC story about setting up proper tattoo studios in Canadian prisons 

Appalled Amish Admirer a story dealing with wanton behaviour by young Anabaptists

Astute Armament Aficionado discussing why I enjoy rifle shooting

Automobile Averse Artist still steadfastly refuse to get a car

Avatar Avowing Avenger about posting avatars in a discussion forum

Awesome Amazon Adorer admitting that the only reason I liked Nashville Pussy was Corey Parks, the 6'3" former bassist

Bagpipe Bashing Bastard a bunch of jokes to my bagpipe playing friend. It’s an easy target I know, but they were so funny

Blade Busting Buffoon about my foolishly breaking the tip off of a knife
Bloody Bodacious Blogger sharing my, at the time new, blog with a friend 
Bodacious Boat Builder telling a friend that I would be thrilled to help him build a canoe

Bodacious Buccaneer Buddy a link to a Captain Jack Sparrow fansite, for a friend who had sculpted a bust of the character

Bone Breaking Bouncer in my short stint as a bouncer, I took down a knife wielding crackhead. He went to the hospital. I didn’t

Bong Building Borealist I only witnessed said event, I have no personal knowledge of such subject matter
Booby-lovin’ Bluetech Buff what can I say, I’m a guy and boobies are great. As is Bluetech

Boot Buying Bohemian providing a friend with some info about Oakley assault boots

Breast Bag Browser enlisted the aid of friends when I couldn’t find Gerber breast milk storage bags in stores near me

Busy Buddhist Bushwanderer a link to the incredible tibetart.com 17,000 images, from a variety of museums

Cactus Curious Canadian discussing the prickly pear cactus with my buddy Thad down in Florida

Cagey Customs Contemptor explaining my reticence about crossing the US border to see my pal Leo Zulueta

Camouflage Collecting Commando a link to bimboflage
Canoeing Camp’mups Connoisseur a friend had asked about canoeing in the French River area
Cantankerous Carless Crank discussing the Gulf oil spill 

Capable Canadian Canoeist talking about a canoe trip to Algonquin

Captivated Cassette Cleaner describing the program Magix Music Cleaning Lab, to digitize and clean up old recordings

Carbine Craving Caver voicing my disapproval of Canada’s gun control laws and exploring a cave in the Niagara Escarpment

Career Changing Canoeist discussing why I find building boats far more appealing than web design
Cat Cuddling Curmudgeon I may be grumpy at times, but I like cats

Cemetery Census Counter walking through the local cemetery, I’ve sadly noticed wives live far longer than their husbands
Charging Chicken Champion urban chickens and changing animal control bylaws

Cheeky Cubist Cheat Mr.PicassoHead

Chiclet Chomping Chewbacca a most funky little company. The gum ones are possily the most fun

Childbirth Congratulations Conferrer offering my felicitations to Kim Stanford on the birth of her little fellow

Citizenship Change Chaser a link to the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs to find out about dual citizenship

Coincidental Conspiracy Congregator a recounting of some really astonishing small world tales that have occurred in my life

Cold Clawed Carpenter describing my hellacious experiences building houses in -25°C

Colourbox Craving Crank expressing my sadness that Colourbox completely gave up on music

Comedic Commercial Connoisseur the brilliant Shards o Glass commercial

Comic Collecting Cobber an online edition of Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman

Conservative Conundrum Communicator my sign off in an intriguing political debate
Conservation Conscious Conceptualist letting my sister know about Crawford Lake Conservation Area

Conspiracy Confronting Contrarian I have very little patience for conspiracy theory bullshit
Consummate Canoe Constructor I take great care when building wooden vessels

Cool Camo Craver a site showing off the capabilities of Crye’s brilliant Multi-Cam pattern
Cost Conscious Creator I like making things, but I try to be as frugal about it as I can
Crafty Cop Coincidentallist chatting with a cop on a gear forum, and the next day I see him on TV  

Crafty Crepuscular Canadian discussing the Church of Craft with my sister

Crazy Cottage Caretaker a link to the original Cottage 13

Creepy Crawly Crackpot link for Dawn, who is very interested in beetles
Cretin Cranium Cracker discussions that led to the SmackSack 
Crustaceous Crafty Canoer about going to a Stitch’n’ Bitch

Crusty Celsius Counter explaining to an American why the Metric system is so much better
Crusty Country Cusser telling a friend into alt country to check out Drive By Truckers

Cultivated Cutlery Connoisseur talking at length about high quality knives

Damascus Dirk Doxologist knives that are some of the most beautiful art I’ve ever seen – Taigoo

Dastardly Dashing Daredevil talking about walking around on 2x4 walls two stories up

Defective Device Desirer acknowledging the flaws of the iPod but confessing to wanting one anyway
Dehydrator Destroying Dipstick using an old Ronco that came close to causing an electrical fire 
Deliciousness Dessicating Dork telling a canoeing pal about my dehydrating of foodstuffs for an upcoming trip

Delightful Dutch Degenerate probably some sort of off colour joke or something

Delinquent Decepticon Delineator telling Stef about DIY origami Transformers

Deliriously Depraved Dubster sending Watershell and Incarnate an essay on dub that mentioned them

Demented Dub Downloader mentioning the transfer of dub CDs into MP3s on my computer
Destitute Device Designer I make stuff and I’m damn poor

Detestable Doughnut Despiser telling a friend down in Florida why I find Krispy Kreme doughnuts vile and over hyped

Devout Device Devotee talking about my love of gadgets

Dictionary Devouring Dork explaining why I know the spelling of a vast amount of words

Digital Design Draftsman rendering some of my inventions and creations and designs

Diorama Directing Dipstick I’ve created a diorama out of  Playmobil based on the Green Man mythology

Discontinuation Disappointment Displayer professing to Blake my annoyance at Cold Steel’s deletion of an item

Disturbed Display Distributor a link to the skewed art of Naoti Hattori

Doughhead Defending Doorman relaying an amusing anecdote about trying to protect a drunken groper from an irate family

Dramatic Doppelganger Discoverer informing Kathryn that for the movie of her life, Rachel Weisz should star as the lead

Drug Devouring Druid a Sunday afternoon sojourn into the deep woods and needing to take some anti-histamines for allergies

Drunk Dragonfly Driver a spectacular video of a guy breaking every law of aerodynamics with a remote control helicopter

Dubious Decoration Debunker asking Azl if this story was for real. Seems more than a little kooky

Dubtribe Dazzled Debauchee gushing forth with my delight at having seen the awe inspiring Dubtribe
Dumb Dual Dutchman why it’s taking me so long to become a dual citizen

Electronic Exchange Enthusiast describing my love of email as a communications medium

Eloquent Electronica Enthusiast informing a friend of a track she should check out for her radio show

Employment Exploring Egghead mentioning my job hunt

Encyclopedic Envelope Ergotomist I read encyclopedias for fun, and share envelopes of arcane information 
Endless E-mail Emitter I keep up a pretty steady correspondence with a bunch of different folks

Energetic Equipment Espouser championing Kifaru packs, Wiggys sleeping bags and Danner boots

Ergotic Ecological Epitomist speaking of people who became eco conscious because of psychedelics

Erotic Electronic Eccentric a smutty site for a friend who is a photographer

Escarpment Exploring Emigré a jaunt around some of the waterfalls surrounding Hamilton

Ethnic Escapade Explicator a trip to Serbian deli to buy good but cheap jam and juice
Experienced Examination Expediter laughing about fast I whipped through my exams
Extemporaneous Eagle Eyeballer sharing my excitement at sighting a bald eagle

Extraterrestrial English Educator telling a friend why I wouldn’t be able to take her up on her offer to teach English in Asia

Faithless Female Fatalist telling my gal pal Ada why I have such a cynical view of women

Fast Flash Fusilier a Flash animation describing the inner workings of the brilliant M-1 Garand rifle

Fatally Flawed Fashionista apprising a friend of Worn Journal
Favourable Folk Festivalist wasn’t sure what to expect, but I loved the Greenbelt Harvest Picnic

Favourable Freedom Flagwaver letting everyone know that their freedoms were expanded just a touch
Fecal Flinging Flapdragon describing my blog as little more than me flinging poo at the walls of my monkey cage

Female Form Fan a poem describing how sad I was to hear that Heidi Klum wouldn’t be posing naked for Playboy

Festival Foregoing Fuddyduddy why I decided to forego the Harvest Festival this year

Fine Feline Fancier expressing my interest in getting a Maine Coon

Flaccid Flabbergasted Flatulator just one I jotted off for fun. Totally not true

Flavourful Falafel Fan explaining to my misguided niece that falafels are indeed delicious

Forum Frequenting Freeman I’m a regular wag at a few different outdoor activity and gear related forums
Fragile Falcon Fancier sharing the story and photos of the merlin falcon
Frazzled FaceBook Fan it’s fun, but it does squander a lot of time 
Friendly Farm Fan a trip to visit friends in the Bruce

Frightfully Forgetful Fellow I sent someone a note and forget to add the link it was about. Oops
Frisky Fabric Finder discussing high tech fabrics with a fellow gear maker

Frolicking Fractal Fungivore something else to boggle the brains of the Caution Pointers

Funky Festival Freak info about the Harvest Festival

Funky Frequency Freestyler mentioning to Lex that he should check out Tipper

Gangly Geodesic Gadfly I’m a lanky fan of the great Buckminster Fuller

Ganjalicious Gadget Guy the great site of Wired founder Kevin Kelly, who I think, uhm, likes to uh, smoke pot, apparently. Not me though

Gargantuan Gardening Gadgeteer I’m big and I liketo shop at Lee Valley

Gargantuan Green Gadfly a friendly admonition to acquaintances to please recycle and compost

Gargoylish Gothic Ghoul some eerie, spooky, scary, surreal links for Yolanda

Gazetteer Gazing Guide the aerial photos and maps the city of Hamilton has put online

Goofy Google Goombah Googling my own name and finding something very amusing written about me

Green Gear Geek relating a meeting with fellow geardos

Gregarious Green Giant I’m friendly, I’m eco friendly and freakishly tall

Groovy Glove Guru letting my piercer and tattooist friends know about a source for black nitrile gloves

Guinness Guzzling Goofball relating drinking a little too much of Irelands finest

Hackeysacking Hamilton Harrier as hippy as it sounds, I love hackysack. Plus I ran cross country

Halloween Horror Hipster an image by Luke Brown, as a potential idea for Yolanda’s Halloween sleeve

Hamilton House Hammerer more tales of my stint as a framing carpenter

Happy Hempy Hippy I’m a firm advocate of the use of hemp

Happy House Head a link to 1600(!) house DJ sets

Hawkish Hippy Heretic a fairly lengthy dissertation why I think Michael Moore is a disingenuous windbag

Heighty Hill Hiker a recounting of clambering about the Niagara Escarpment

Helical Hydroponic Herbalist I love spirals, and is there anything better than fresh basil in the middle of winter

High Hermitic Hollander a story about how the Dutch are the tallest people on Earth
Hiphop Hating Hammertonian not much of a fan of the music, but mainly the shitheels that seem drawn to it

Hornet Hating Hemphead oooh I loathe those evil little devils
Icy Immersion Informer letting fellow canoeists know about Cold Water Bootcamp

Illustrious Illustrationary Inspector praising my buddy Neil’s fine illustrations

Immunoglobular Illustration Imparter the truly staggering work of Hybrid Medical Animation

Impoverished Internet Investigator some fun, neat, groovy links for my pal Dawn-ee-O

Inadequate Industrial Iconographer mentioning why I was {initially} incapable of watching Majik by Ohgr

Incandescent Imagery Imbiber the stellar photography of Jim Brandenburg
Increasingly Intolerant Infidel making my feelings about “the Religion of Peace” known

Indica Ignorant Insecticider while I had to tell a pal I know nothing about pot plants, I do know that these deer fly patches work
Indonesian Insight Interrogatee in response to a friends query about travel in Sumatra

Ineffectual Internet Internee thanking a pal for explaining an obscure feature of my email software
Infinitely Inventive Imbecile some of my creations

Ingenious Improvisation Informator informing folks about the wonderful Howtoons

Inspired Infidel Insurrectionist a link to the Internet Infidel Discussion Forum

Inspired Insect Investigator telling an entomologist pal how much I enjoyed Wicked Bugs
Internet Information Intelligencer letting a friend know where in lovely Kincardine the internet cafes are

Irritating Ingrate Immolator relaying a tale about the scathing treatment a rude individual got from me

Islamic Imbecile Incinerator expressing my disgust with people who use “god” as an excuse for heinous acts of violence

Kaleidoscopic Knot Kook a link to both a site about shoe lace tying and about kaleidoscopes

Keen Kayak Konstructor proudly relating my kayak building efforts
Keen Kit Kibbitzer always eager to offer up my opinions about Cordura gear

Klein Kinder Kalachakrist one letter oddly enough touched on Klein Bottles, a cool Kinder toy I got, and the Kalachakra for World Peace

Knife Kaputzing Klutz breaking knives. Doh!

Knife Knapping Knave a discussion with a friend in Nevada about knapping obsidian to make tools
Kooky Key Karrier cool Turkish key carrying gadget
Lancaster Loving Loogan always love hearing and seeing this old warhorse

Languid Lanky Lanarkian I’m mellow, tall and lived in beautiful Lanark
Lanky Laconic Laminator explaining to a friend how I do up my maps for hiking

Left Leaning Libertarian people have a hard time pigeonholing my ideas

Lego Loving Lunatic photos of some of my Lego creations

Lesbian Literature Lover telling a friend that I was already well aware of Suzie Bright

Library Loving Labourer some links to online libraries for my sister

Limitless Lilliputian Limericist sculptures the size of the dot over this i

Link Losing Letterer apologizing to everyone for a great link that went down shortly after I sent it

Lively Literature Locator links to several online collections of old children’s literature

Long Lost Londoner catching up with my old pal David Worrall

Loogan Loathing Lad describing why I dislike no class white trash

Lovable Lunar Loony a friend who was born 10 days before me, also has as an early memory, the moon landing
Luminous Light Lover extolling the virtues of my Fenix light

Lyrical Logo Letterer a letter discussing some logo ideas I did for a friend down in Australia

Magnanimous Measurement Malapert an awesome online conversion calculator

Malignant Maple Massacrer telling Stef that the Manitoba maple growing in his front yard was not a very desirable tree

Mandala Making Magician images of the sand mandala made at the Kalachakra for World Peace in Toronto
Map Making Maven I should have been a cartographer

Martial Methods Messenger some interesting self defense links for a kung fu instructor friend

Masterful Maquillage Maniac a link to a gallery of movie make up

Meandering Mead Metaphysicist asking a friend if he had ever consumed mead

Median Map Minder aerial photos of York County, which my sister lives on the border of

Medically Minded Meatlessist musings on what is required in a wilderness first aid kit. And I eschewed meat for a long time
Mixed Media Manipulator signoff for the email contain the Crystal Palace images

Modular Megaforce Medic advice to a friend on putting together a first aid kit

Monolithic Mushroom Masticator finding a patch of morels. Mmmmm yummy morels

Musical Mixology Maven my sign off in a daggy fan letter to MixMaster Morris. Oh my gawd I wrote a letter to Irresistible Force!

Mustachioed Muscle Man let my beard grow for about two and a half months. Not sure I like it
Naughty Nautical Nihilist making Yolanda aware of the Goth Cruise

Needle Negative Nutjob explaining to my former neighbour (a nurse) why I wouldn’t be getting a flu shot

Nelumbonic Nirvana Nabob a ramble about Buddhism

Night Navigating Naturalist a tale of wandering through forest trails at night

Noteworthy Nemesis Neutralizer a chat with Anthony about the work he did on a character for Resident Evil 2

Noticeable Nocturnal Ninja describing why my childhood dreams of being a spy were dashed due to my height

Numinous Nuclear Nullifier explaining my opposition to nuclear power in light of the damage caused in Chernobyl

Occasionally Overwhelmed Observer describing how incredibly moved I was by this link

Ontario Orienteering Oddball an absolutely fantastic land navigation resource

Opponent Overcoming Oblate more self defense links for my kung fu instructor friend

Optical Oddity Observer an optical illusion site for Ru and Lex

Optimal Optical Optimist a link to a guy who made glasses held on by a bridge piercing

Opuscular Optical Overseer another optical illusion site for the Legion of Green Men

Orbular Opium Opticialist asking a knowledgeable friend some questions about poppies

Oriental Origami Orienteer a really neat way to fold a T-shirt

Pagan Party Participant telling a friend what to expect at the Om Festival

Painful Punishment Provider stating why I think a wide variety of criminals deserve a good thrashing

Panopticonic Painting Palaeoethnobotanist the beautiful paintings of Winnipeg’s Robert Pasternak

Panoramic Perspective Provider a link for a friend homesick for Vancouver, showing 360° panoramic views of the city

Particularly Peavish Patriot a little rant about people who don’t realize how lucky they are to live in Canada
Pattern Perusing Perambulator working on pants and making patterns for them

Peculiar Pen Pal a letter to an old pal, who is well aware of my quirks

Pedophile Pulverizing Pantheist making my feelings known to a forum moderator about someone making light of child abuse
Peeved Product Protectionist got a nice cap as a gift, all very Canadiana stuff...that’s made in China
Perambulatory Packs Purchaser explaining why I gladly spend money on Kifaru packs 

Pharmaceutical Phobic Phraseologist explaining to someone why I am hesitant take any sort of chemical medicine

Phenomenal Pal Panegyrizer I’ve written a few amusing biographical poems about some of my amazing friends

Phenomenal Phenakistoscope Palindromist a link about optical toys

Photoshop Prank Puller pasting a picture of Anand’s face into a Carrot Top movie poster

Pierced Poetry Producer I have piercings and write poems

Pigmented Plasma Provider a little rant about Canadian Blood Services and their inane prohibition against being tattooed

Pill Popping Postholedigger recounting the aches after a few days of building decks

Pink Poodle Punter a NFB short features a character with pink hair based on my pal Zoe, and I see humor in kicking tiny dogs

Pinup Pining Pinhead the terrific pinup drawings of Bawidamann

Pinup Photograph Pilgrim the terrific pinup photos of Winkytiki

Pitiful Protestor Patronizer making fun of mental ward escapees and their signs at a peace rally

Pixelated Page Pamphleteer a Canadian online magazine, Horizon Zero

Playmobil Purchasing Pipelighter asking my sister which Playmobil kits my nieces already have

Plywood Pounding Peon more talk of carpentry

Political Philosophy Postulator discussing the elections with Neil

Political Process Perspectivist talking about the pitiful choices in the US election with Jay

Pot Puffing Poet I said that I only puffed pot to make myself look cool. Honest.

Precious Plastic Pursuer trying to find adjustable siamese slik-clips is near on impossible

Precise Punctuation Perfectionist teasing my niece about her text speak in an email.
Prescription Pill Proscriber my dismay at finding out a distant cousin of mine had killed herself by abusing prescription pills
Pretensionless Paddling Photographer making fun of the twaddle that accompanied some actually quite nice canoeing photos

Progeny Protecting Pragmatist a link to an editorial that states children are not in any great danger from kidnappers

Psychedelic Pencil Pusher drawings done under the influence of LSD

Punctilious Punk Pundit history of the London, Ontario punk rock scene

Quizzical Queuejumping Quasimodo I’m curious, lead rather than follow, and I’m a freak of nature

Quick Quintallic Quester I always move fast on my adventures and weigh exactly a hundred kilos

Quiet Quadraphonic Quizzer asking my buddy Watershell about sound editing software

Quintessential Quote Quipper I like reading quotes and sometimes share a choice one

Quixotic Quirky Querist I tilt at windmills, likely thought of as a bit different, and have a boundless curiosity about everything

Quodlibetting Quandary Questioner a deep philosophical discussion {well, as deep as it gets with a goofball like me}
Rally Relaying Rhymester letting my rally loving pals know about Ontario Rally Sports

Rambling Rave Ranger a lengthy article about my impressions of the rave movement

Rapidly Reacting Raver when I went to raves, I always brought my first aid kit. Never needed it though

Raster Rearranging Rasta offering a friend some assistance with PhotoShop questions

Resourceful Recipe Researcher a link to my sister of online recipe resources

Responsible Rifle Rascal speaking of my desire to take up rifle shooting again

Ribald Rhyme Reciter a poem about Captain Jean-Marc Peakhard

Robot Rescue Researcher a link to a short film about a CGI robot cop in Johannesburg

Roundabout Route Rouster a link to Canadian Canoe Routes

Royal Rumsfeld Rumbler the thousand fighting styles of Donald Rumsfeld
Salacious Salak Savourer a friend brought me back from SE Asia a sculpted salak
Savvy Scorp Sharpener letting Ross from Wood Trekker know about Leonard Lee’s Guide to Sharpening
Savvy Sculpture Spotter telling a pal about a cool sculpture

Savvy Surefooted Survivalist I am a hiker prepared for just about any eventuality

Scarred Scrabbling Scribe I have plenty of scars, love Scrabble and write lots

Scuba Scouting Scalliwag providing info to a friend about prices of scuba gear

Scurrilous Sculpture Scoper description of my awe at seeing an Evan Penny exhibition
Scurrilous Skull Scalliwag let’s under the face it – skulls are cool
Secret Spork Scrabbler I admitted to a friend I play online Scrabble with that I’m a member of the secret SporkForce

Seditious Seed Sower letting a gardener pal know about a few local seed suppliers

Sewing Savvy Savant discussing with a fellow geardo the differences between various sewing machines
Shitty Snapshot Shaper-upper sending back a photo of a group of people, with my ugly mug cropped out of it.
Sex Shop Scoper-outer telling a friend who makes corsets about a fetish shop here in town. 

Sinatra Song Singalonger a friend is a fan of the Chairman of the Board, and I knew she would enjoy this very unPC spoof song

Sinister Sinistral Sister describing my nun costume for a Halloween party

Slang Slingin’ Sloganeer signoff for a letter which featured me using an inordinate amount of slang

Sleepy Spaghetti Slurper eating a late night pasta dinner and trying to write at the same time

Snapshot Sharing Screwball the signoff for a letter that included some photos

Somnolent Solitary Solstitialist I was born on June 21, so I coined a new word to describe myself - a solstitialist

Sombre Sonorous Soloist I have a deep voice, I’m often serious, and I am a loner

Sore Sound Sorter describing a 19 hour day of recording vinyl into my computer
Soulful Sound Subscriber drum machines not soulful? Nonsense I say.

Sound Seeking Simpleton describing my glee at finding a sound file of a Rolls Royce Merlin engine - love that sound!

Soy Solution Soothsayer answering my sister’s questions about Textured Vegetable Protein

Special Spider Speculator spider webs built under the influence of various drugs

Specialized Speed Spectator three madmen on motorbikes moving at close to 300km an hour

Spectacular Spiral Splicer describing the creation of a large arm tattoo

Spirited Spiralgirl Supporter professing my delight at knowing the wonderful Veronica Dabis, aka  Spiralgirl

Spirituality Seeking Seditionary discussing spiritual matters with my sister
Stentorian Stereoscopic Steganographer I have a deep voice and dig ViewMaster and codes
Strict Sterilization Stickler expressing my anger about an unlicensed, autoclave-less home tattooist, and the tepid response from public health

Stupendous Suspended Stuntman a link to suspension trauma

Successless Substandard Surfer telling the irrepressible Don Peddy about a surfing book he should check out

Sumatran Sensation Sagaist recounting my experience of going to visit Marc Emery in Sumatra
Suspended Sleep Supporter extolling the virtues of sleeping in a hammock

Sword Sourcing Sorcerer asking my knife dealer, if he could procure an obscure sword for a friend

Sword Swinging Swami a link to a great little Japanese animated film about a sword

Symbol Syllabus Syndicalist a link to symbols.com for all my dermagraphologist pals

Synth Sound Swain letting Lex and Rew know about a site that sells synth sounds by Richard Barbieri of Japan fame

Tactical Tale Teller an epic poem about a gear forum

Tall Tattooed Typographer sums me up quite well
Tall Thinking Thingy I can’t remember exactly what this was in reference to, probably my geniusence or intelligosity

Tall Tibetan Tactician sharing the amazing sand mandala

Tardy Typographic Twit my brilliant designs sometimes take a little longer to finesse than I originally thought

Terribly Terrific Teetotaller not much of a drinker, and never have been

Terrifically Tanned Technobabbler working outside for a month meant I was as brown as toast

Teutonic Techno Tabulator a link to the German techno/dub label Thinner, with dozens of free downloadable MP3s

Therapeutic Turntable Theorist (a link to a repair and fine tuning guide for the Technics 1200 turntable)

Thief Thrashing Toxophilite an amusing tale about my neighbours catching a dumb thief. I’m also into primitive archery

Tibet Touting Tactician I told a friend on a business trip to Beijing to spray paint pro Tibet slogans in Tiananmen Square

Tibetan Tattoo Touter I sent an online pen pal some photos of Sunboy’s exceptional tattoos

Tippling Tripping Toboganner about going tobogganing while drinking hot toddies

Tired Trail Traverser about going for a 35 click hike along the Bruce Trail and through the Dundas Valley

Toddler Tautophony Talker some photos of my adorable nephew
Topical Topographic Tipster letting a fellow canoe tripper know about the superb Adventure Maps

Topnotch Trouser Tactician a review of the incredible new combat pants by Crye

Towering Tot Toter a photo to my mom depicting me carrying a friends daughter around on my shoulders

Trail Traipsing Transcendentalist describing a Sunday hike

Transformed Tattooed Theantrope getting a truly fantastic birthday present from the long admired Leo Zulueta

Trekking Toronto Tourist chronicling one of my usual mad tabs across Toronto

Trippy Timeshifting Tunneler one of the coolest pieces of art I’ve ever seen. Not quite as good as, but pretty fun nonetheless…

Triskaidekaphilic Thaumatropic Tryptaminer the relationship between the number 13 and zoetrope

Two Toed Toad I actually have a full complement of toes and I am a mammal

Ukrainian Uberbabe Uxoriator agreeing with a pal that the woman in this story is indeed a knockout

Ultimate Underground Urchin a tale about exploring a cave

Unschooled Underachieving Uncialist a letter to the ever brilliant Seth Rowanwood, commending his work
Unusual Utensil Utilizer eating utensils in the shape of construction vehicles
Vasectomy Vacillating Vree a discussion about vasectomies and that they aren’t so “troublefree”   

Vodka Variable Vanguardist apparently you can turn the worst vodka into the best vodka, all with a simple Brita filter

Very Vivacious Victualist a link to SlowFood

Video Viewing Verbalist a link to a ten year old film that my ex girlfriend is in. Shows my old apartment and everything

Video Villain Vapouriser a rare occurrence; I played a video game

Viking Vestige Verbaliser a site chronicling viking culture

Vintage Vehicle Venerator an organization that restores WW2 aircraft and old cars

Vinyl Vocabulary Voyageur stressing to a doubter that analogue sounds far better than digital

Viridescent Vest Venerator telling my neighbour Andrew Kent that the rigs he designed for JTF 2 are really impressive

Wasp Waisted Wastrel a few different links about corsetry to Yolanda who was taking a course to make them
Waterfront Wayfinding Wizard telling Dawn how to get to the old Hamilton Harbour Commission building 

Web Wandering Weenie a generic signoff for some sort of groovy internet discovery

Whelmed Wave Whiffer talking about how much I love the song These Waves by Brook/Nooten

Wicked Witch Whipper a link to a Canadian Wicca forum

Wire Wiping Wiz I took a photo of Bryces mural, but erased the wire that went through it

Witty Whistle Wetter a link to Chiff + Fipple, a site devoted to the tin whistle
Wondrous Waterfall Watcher informing someone that Hamilton is home to dozens of waterfalls

Wood Whacking Weirdo describing some carpentry task or other

Wool Wearing Walker extolling the virtues of wool

Wounded Woodcraft Writer I nicked my finger with a knife while doing some research for an aboskills article I was writing

Yarn Yearning Yeti telling my sister about the fantastic Stitch ’N Bitch by Debbie Stoller

Yummy Young Yomper yomping is slang for hiking long distances with a heavy pack

Zany Zealot Zapper a gut bustingly funny article I found about someone’s experience zapping himself with a Taser

Zealous Zoetrope Zombie a link to PCONHQ about zoetropes
Zesty Zombie Zeteticist turned out he already knew her, but I sent Anthony a link to Iantha Evitts, a SFX make-up artist