Polygonal Portrait: Anand

Okay, last one of these I do for quite a while. Quite possibly ever. First one was 1000 triangles. Second one was 4000 triangles. This one was over 13,000 triangles. There isn’t that flow you get with painting or drawing. This is just mindless bezier point clicking, hours and hours and hours of it. Why do I do this to myself? I think the next illustration style I’ll explore will be stick figures.

The end result.

The original.

Cropped from this image. He’s about 2¾ here. At the sand mandala the Tibetan monks did. With Tenzin, their interpreter. Happy memories of a really fun day. (It was the day they did their opening ceremony. I had taken the day off work, since this was something of a once in a life time experience. We tried to impress upon him to be quiet while it was going on. Being a squidgy toddler, he crawled from lap to lap. At one point he sat on our friend Jen’s lap. She’s pregnant. He’s touching her boobs. He whispers “Your boobies are really big auntie Jen.” I think all of us hurt ourselves trying to not burst into gales of laughter.)

Keyline view. The end result was 13109 objects, 41270 points, 83.25 meters worth of line. And an almost silly number of hours. 80, 100. Now that it’s done, I’m kind of indifferent about it.

Some close-ups.

Got a new tattoo

So the tattoo shop celebrated its 13th anniversary yesterday. 

In honour of the occasion, all the tattoo artists (and me) contributed designs of the number 13. 

The idea was that on Friday the 13th, for $13 you could pick a 13 design and have it tattooed on you, to mark the 13th anniversary of Cottage 13. When I got up this morning I had the notion that I would get Bryce, the very talented apprentice, to do one of Andrew’s designs on my right ankle. 

I had a bunch of running around to do, and showed up at the shop around 17:00. Had a beer, ate some food. Sat around and chatted with everyone, laughed, ate some more, had another beer. Was delighted to learn that two of my contributions had been chosen and permanently marked on customers. Somehow or other during all this the subject of letting the son of the owners have a go injecting some ink into my skin was broached. Either he suggested it, I suggested it, I don’t recall. “When Bryce is tattooing me, I’ll let you take the machine and give it a try.” I believe another beer or three was consumed. He took one of the designs that Bryce had done and with some tracing paper went over it. The idea of him having a go wielding a tattoo machine kept being discussed. His dad took the design that he had traced, showed him how to make a stencil, which he then placed on my left ankle. 

With a liner (a thin marker) and a shader (a thick marker) he went over the design. He confessed that it made him a little nervous and that it made his hands a little shaky. 

But he did okay.

An idea that may have been said slightly in jest originally, became just perfect. It wasn’t the design I had originally contemplated, it certainly wasn’t the artist I had originally contemplated, it wasn’t even on the side I had originally contemplated, but...it was magically right.

I have known him since he was born. I love him more than anything in the world. I have known his parents for a long time. They mean the world to me. I have been affiliated in some small way with the shop since day 1. The place means a great deal to me.

This was not a design that necessarily fits into the grand scheme of designs I have plotted out for my body. It’s a fun souvenir piece, something to mark a place that means something to us on a significant milestone. 

Getting him to do it was... really perfect. There were six supremely talented artists there who could have done it. I chose my 9 year old pal to do it. I asked his parents and everyone else if they were okay with him doing it. No one raised any objections. The stencil was prepared and put on, and Andrew showed him how a machine was set up.

I really wasn’t in the least bit worried about any of it. I wasn’t expecting perfection, to be honest, some errors would add to the charm of the piece. And his dad was right there to take over if he wasn’t up to the task, but we were all quite willing to give him a shot. Let him gain an understanding of what it is the tattooing process is all about. He dipped the tip of the machine in the cap of ink, pressed the pedal, and....started tattooing me. 

He was a bit hesitant at first....

...there were times when he didn’t even get the needles in all the way.

But he got the hang of it.

Because of the spot it’s in, I couldn’t help but have an involuntary twitch a few times. I was admonished to hold my foot still. Wait’ll you get a tattoo there, little buddy.

Dad showing him some techniques (and doing the outlining on some of the trickier serifs.)

Give it a wipe.

Dad supervising.

Bryce the apprentice looking on to see how it’s done. I don’t recall who but one wag got a good laugh out of everyone when he cracked “Lookit! Those lines are almost as good as what Bryce is doing.” I think a good portion of an apprenticeship consists of being ribbed as often as possible.

Put on some Vaseline.

 The artist himself.

I gave him the $13 plus a $7 tip and a big hug.

And the finished results the next morning. He went beyond the line in a few places, he missed a few spots, but I don’t care in the least. Its “imperfection” makes it perfect to me. It’s a fun souvenir, and has more to do with a time and place and the person who did it than anything else. I figure it’s good to give him an opportunity, and hope it gives him an appreciation and understanding of what his dad and other artists do. I suppose there aren’t many 9 year olds who can claim to have done a tattoo.

Words of advice for an 8 year old boy – Girls

I have mentioned some of the hilariously innocent, yet clever things my nephew said when he was around 4. He has aged (far too rapidly – where has all that time gone?) so the nature of how we interact with one another is a bit different.

Yesterday his little pal Lily called him up and asked if he wanted to come over and play Wii with her. He agreed but then acted all glum and said he only did it so her and her sister wouldn’t cry, and it wasn’t going to be very fun, and they wouldn’t have any good games, and blah, blah, blah. His dad and I teased him about being such a wiener. Lily and her mom came by and off they went. Andrew and I sat around and talked for an hour longer. Then I had to go to the groceteria, and since their house was on the way, I stopped by to see how he was doing. I told Ed and Nancy what a goof he had been, and all the time I’m hearing laughter, and jumping up and down from the back. Pretty much what I expected to find.
“They’re playing foosball in the back. Go say hi.”
I stood there for a minute, watching Anand with this big smile on his face, before I said hello.
“Oh hi Uncle Thomas! Is my dad here to pick me up?”
“No. I just came by to see what a terrible time you were having. But, gee, Anand, it sure looks and sounds like you’re having a lot of fun. Gosh.”
“Yeah we played Wii Dance and now we’re playing some foosball.”
“Wow. That certainly sounds like heaps of fun.”
Then I made sure Lily couldn’t see me, and I pointed at him, mimed laughing, and mimed his whining.
“Why you little....” shaking his little fist at me.
“Yeah whatever Anand. We’ll talk later.”

I saw him later, put him in a headlock and gave him a noogie. Pointed out what a knucklehead he was for whining about having a pretty girl call him up and ask if he wanted to come over and play video games and for thinking this is a bad thing. 
“I don’t have attractive women calling me up asking if I want to come hang out and play video games.” 
I told him that right now girls are kinda weird and annoying because they want to play sparkly princess rather than army guy nerf battle and talk about figure skating rather than hockey. But the day will come when having a pretty girl you like call you up and ask if you want to come over and do something with her will be the most important thing in the world. 
“Gals like a guy who is fun to be around, who knows how to do fun things that you can both enjoy. They also like guys who are nice, who take an interest in what she is interested in, and pay them a compliment once in a while, things like that. They also like boys who don’t act like complete dufuses. Times like this are a good opportunity to learn how to be fun and nice and cool around a girl. And dancing with a girl is always great too. So please don’t ever again give me that pitiful, waaahhhh, she isn’t gonna be any fun cause she doesn’t have Alien Zombie Blaster 5. Gals are fun to be around no matter what.”

Hopefully he will listen and learn something. I won’t tell him that girls will likely remain weird and annoying for a long time to come, but he will learn to love them anyway.

Good gawd! There’s 2 of him!

Obviously some sort of rift in the space time continuum.

I gave my nephew a couple of gifts this weekend. One is a bracelet of wooden Tibetan beads. It was too small to fit me, and I knew it would fit him. You can make it out on his right wrist.

He tells me how cool he thinks my hydration bladders are on a regular basis. I bought him a pack a few years ago, when he was four. (Somewhat similar-ish to this, but not quite.) It came with a Source 3L bladder, but I didn’t think he was ready for it at that age. Still not entirely sure he is now, but what the heck. I gave it to him and he was thrilled.

I had also bought him a Swiss Army Knife about six years ago. I was buying a knife from an online retailer and I got the My First Victorinox for him at the same time, figuring at some point in the future, the time would be right. Being quite the negotiator, he is forever asking his dad and I when we think he can have one. He had been given a small, unspeakably crappy, dollar store multi-tool, that he was using to separate parts when we were playing Lego a while ago. I was pleased to see that he was using it very safely and responsibly. Figured it was time. (That is the reason I got my first pocket knife - to separate stubborn Lego pieces. Still use it for that purpose actually. Yeah, I’m a dork all right?)

He got a very stern talking to, told what to do and not do with it, and warned that the slightest infraction of the rules would see it disappear, post-haste. (It’s funny that I was about his age when I got my first knife and carried it to school in my pocket every day from that point on. I’ve never threatened or stabbed anyone with a knife in the intervening 35 years - imagine that! But sadly, we now live in a lamer era. I mean.... a safer time of gentle, socially responsible, political correctness.)

It’s perhaps because of my disgust with these foolish and misguided efforts, that I want him to learn how to use a knife safely and properly. There is nothing wrong with a boy learning to use one of the oldest and most basic tools, for the tasks it was meant for. When I see grown men who are about as handy as a beached whale, I know I definitely don’t want him to grow up to be like that. To me a simple pocket knife is emblematic of that - a mentality of self-sufficiency.

I think I received high praise when I was told “Thanks uncle Thomas! You’re the most epic-est uncle ever!”

We headed off for a fun hike afterwards, which I was told was also “totally epic.” Which I guess is good. I don’t know any more – these youngsters and all their terms.

Sosoetry - Anand @ 8

So my little monkey buddy just turned 8, and bored the night before, I sat down and wrote a goofy poem about him. Some of these things are true, and some were meant as a tease. He doesn’t really like Justin Bieber, or Katy Perry for that matter. But sadly he does like Michael Jackson (although that is waning - fortunately), and the dreck they play on Virgin 99.9.

Anand’s height means he’ll never be a jockey

but perhaps he’ll end up playing hockey

he loves the perennial underdogs the MapleLeafs

even if they stink like worn too long underbriefs

on a skateboard he hopes to sidewalk surf

in the mean time he’ll play with his Nerf

he’s obsessed with flinging foam blaster darts

and has expressed interest in learning raster art

his dad tells him “he’s totally whack son”

but he still loves the late Michael Jackson

he likes to sing and dance to the songs of Thriller

and really loves 99.9 Virgin Radios starchy filler

in particular he has a crush on Katy Perry

her songs stick in his head like a dingleberry

him and Rohan really love Justin Bieber

he makes them delirious as in a fever

they want to copy his mop of hair

and imitate his stylish fashion flair

instead of eating dinner he whines for cookies

which causes his uncle to give him noogies

he wants a husky as a pet

and really digs Boba Fett

that he’s multi armed and devious

makes him like General Grievious

but I don’t get his thing with Anakin

really dude, I’m confused and askin’

it takes a while, but years later

he becomes the evil Darth Vader

the mere thought of playing his Wii

fills him with a profound sense of glee

he hops around, flails about, and squeals

hurling glowing orbs and a stun ray

“aww come on!” he plaintively appeals

when the results don’t go his way

Lego and PhotoShop

Yes, two of the most fun things in the world, together. I could add one or two other things to the mix, but then my brain might implode.

My nephew has been expressing a lot of interest in PhotoShop lately. Which I think is great!

He had a book about ghosts from the library the other day. Tried to convince me that ghosts are real. “Look! See! Here are photos of them!” On the one hand I felt bad about being such a bummer, but I felt I had to break it to him that those were all examples of advanced for their time photographic techniques. That when people didn’t know any better, it was easy to fool them. “These aren’t ghosts buddy, they’re hoaxes. People may well have done these to get rich off of. There’s nothing honourable about profiting from bamboozling people.”

I took him over to the computer, opened PhotoShop, found a picture of one of his school pals standing against a blue back ground (made it very easy to crop her out - didn’t want to spend too much time on the demonstration) turned her about 35% opaque, found another picture, dragged the selection over, and presto, his pal was now a shimmering ghost.“What I just did is a more high tech version of what people were doing in a dark room 100, 150 years ago.”

On the one hand I felt bad about bursting his bubble, and yet at the same time I want to make sure that he is media savvy. I guess you have to start that conversation at some point.

Coupled with that, he’s been expressing a desire to have a blog to show his Lego creations, “just like Uncle Thomas has.” To him it’s the most natural thing in the world. He’s grown up with it. Yet there are some thorny issues surrounding a 7 year old wanting to have a blog. While on the one hand I think it’s great if it inspires him to want to make stuff, practice writing, learn about taking photos, using a computer, etc., there may well be some bigger issues involved in it that he doesn’t entirely grasp yet.

While babysitting him for a while on Saturday, we of course spent a delightful hour making stuff out of Lego. I let the box of parts speak to me and I felt “wheels.” So I made a car type of thing. He told me his creations was going to have wings. And of course, it ended up with a whole bunch of blasters. Can’t forget the blasters.

When we were done he asked if I could take some photos. “And then could we do what you did with those photos? You know where you made it look like it was flying?”

So we went outside, snapped some pictures in the backyard, and then back inside to give him a lesson in PhotoShop.


Showed him a whole slew of things, and I heard the phrase “That’s amazing!” several times. I don’t know how much of it he’ll retain, but you gotta start somewhere. I told him that I’ve been using it since day one, and I’m still learning things all the time, so not to feel bad if he doesn’t remember everything. 

Explained to him the concepts behind masking. “Remember when we were painting the wall and we put masking tape along the edges so we’d end up with a nice straight line and the paint wouldn’t go on the baseboards? Well this is sort of like that. Pretend that I’m putting tape all around the edge of your ship. That way I can paint over it and not get anything on the ship itself.”

I didn’t get too fancy with it, and none of this is anything I’d put in a portfolio necessarily. But the main aim was to introduce him to some fun stuff you can do with PS. And I think I succeeded in inspiring him.

Showed him the clone tool and what it could do, and that elicited a “That’s amazing!”

“Can we do another one?”
“Sure.”

“That’s so awesome! Can we do another one?”
“Sure.”

Tried to take a few photos against the sky, but this is the only one that turned out halfway decent. Would have gone back to do more, but after the computer noodling, it was dark.

Probably touched on way more things than he can possibly retain, but he prattled on about it the rest of the night, rightfully amazed at the awesome power of PhotoShop. (I may have just blasted Adobe and their handling of the whole FreeHand debacle, but PhotoShop is something I can’t fault them for.) I hope these two introductions to some of its capabilities inspires him to want to learn more. I’d be delighted to sit down with him any time and teach him anything I have learned over the years. I was already an adult when I got my hands on PS. Imagine what a kid could do with it.

Words of Wisdom from a 4 Year Old – Hate

My nephew blurted out that he “hated” something. Something fairly innocuous. Some food item if memory serves me correctly.

I tried to explain to him that hate is a pretty strong word, a term perhaps better reserved for something truly loathsome.

“ ‘I don’t like it’, or ‘I’m not so fond of it’ is maybe a better way to describe something you don’t necessarily like, but isn’t really that bad. I ‘hate’ someone who would hurt you, but I don’t necessarily ‘hate’ celery. I just don’t particularly like it.”

A few weeks later, we were in his front hallway, getting ready to go somewhere. I was lacing up my Danners, and he says
“You should get shoes like mine. With Velcro. It’s really easy to do up your shoes.”
“Yeah so is tieing laces. I hate Velcro.”
“Hate is a pretty strong word uncle Thomas.”
I think I may have sighed and rolled my eyes. But he had a point. If you ever read any of my posts about the gear I make, you’ll notice I’m not a big fan of Velcro. But truly, I don’t hate the stuff. It serves a purpose in some instances. I just don’t think all kids shoes using it as a closure is a good thing. But I guess he pointed out that I am as guilty as anyone else of thoughtlessly blurting out terms that aren’t entirely accurate.
“Okay, little buddy. You’re right. I don’t ‘hate’ Velcro. I’m just not all that fond of it either.

(And in case you didn’t click the link above, it’s a good read.)

Sosoetry - Bigger Anand

I wrote this for my nephew on his 6th birthday. Also wrote one on his 2nd birthday.

Anand keeps on growin’ and growin’

already bigger than his pal Rowan

his gigantic noggin is really big

and in his schnoz he likes to dig

his teeth are white and pearly

and his hair is red and curly

most times he’s sweet as a bird

some times he’s a big stinky turd

he gets the occasional grumpy bout

then proceeds to whine and pout

at times he freaks out like the hulk

other times he’ll just sit and sulk

he tries real hard to be bossy

like he’s in command of a posse

I tend to think he is full of poo

when he claims to know Kung Fu

like a little girl he’s bound to squeal

when I suggest we play with Playmobil

he loves to play with his Lego

or sometimes a bow and arrow

often he doesn’t listen so good

this would not please Robin Hood

Anand seems to really admire Anakin

even if he’s nastier than Rumpelstilskin

he doesn’t care about the wherefores

all he knows is that he loves Star Wars

after school he will watch Avatar

then rock out on his toy guitar

he really clears out his windpipes

singing along to the White Stripes

to ABBA he likes to dance

often in just his underpants

no one will ever claim Anand

is any sort of cultured gourmand

he won’t try mashed potatoes

but will eat boogers from his nose

Sosoetry - Little Anand

A poem I wrote on my nephews second birthday.

at times you cry and weep

then just as fast fall asleep

you like to suck on mommy’s tit

even if it’s only for a little bit

you’re an adorable little devil

in your sweetness we revel

you sleep on your chubby tummy

and snuggle up with your mommy

you pee and poo in your diaper

and maul Kali the furry viper

she’s insane and doesn’t mind

that you yank fur from her behind

on your birthday you became a walker

second one you’ll be full fledged talker

you really are a special child

one who’ll hold most beguiled

your mom always dresses you with flair

and you’ve the cutest red curly hair

it’s quite the wacky far out lid

you’re already a really big kid

maybe you’ll grow up to be 7'3"

uncle Thomas can teach you weaponry

give you all his groovy gear in camo

and show you how things go kablammo

uncle Stef can teach you kung fu

auntie Jen will show you how to tattoo

dad waits for the day you’ll need a stitch

to the consternation of mom the witch

it doesn’t take much to make you smile

usually when you deposit a big pile

you’re really very adorable

but what smells so horrible

from your bum emits a stink

that makes our eyes blink

poop splatters your entire behind

but your dad doesn’t seem to mind

he certainly is extremely brave

that stench’d put most in the grave

your vile repugnant pooh

has the tenacity of glue

Words of Wisdom from a 4 Year Old – Marriage

My nephew has a tendency to, uhm, excavate the contents of his nasal cavity, and then place what he extracts in his, uhm oral passage. (Gawd, when he reads this years from now, he’ll be mortified. Sorry buddy.)

Now he really likes the girls and the girls all seem to really like him. 

“You know, I reckon the girls might not be so impressed when they see you do that.” I hoped that pointing this out to him might get him to stop that vile practice.

“So what you’re saying is that I might end up like you and not have a wife?” I look over at him and he’s got the biggest ‘haha I got you look’ on his face.

{Why you little..........}

“I don’t consume nose goblins, so clearly that has nothing to do with it.” I can’t recall for sure, but I probably gave him a noogie right after. Just for being such an impertinent little whippersnapper.

Chedoke Gorge

We’ve had some really spectacular weather here the past few days. Sunny, but not too hot.

After a refreshing pause at the shop, I went wandering around, and ended up at the Chedoke Gorge. I had been here earlier in the year with my nephew, but given that everything had been covered in snow and ice, we hadn’t ventured very far in. But the weird thing is that I have never even ventured that far in. In all my time living here, I hadn’t really explored it either. No good reason why really. I decided to rectify that. Didn’t really have the gear I would’ve wanted with me, but whatever.

Enjoyed it so much that I went again a few days later, this time with my nephew and his dad in tow. Enjoyed that even more. This had been a stomping ground for he and his brother when they were youngsters, but he hadn’t been back in many years.

The pictures here are from the two hikes.

Looking towards the Lower Chedoke Falls.

Looking back the way we had come.

This gives a sense of the size of some of the boulders. I wanted to take Anand here not only because I think its really beautiful, but also because I knew he would love the adventure of clambering all over them and leaping from rock to rock, over crevasses. We had to lift and pull and boost him in places, but he did just fine. We took the time to show him some techniques and try to explain a little of the strategy involved in moving through terrain like this.

Looking back at the route taken to get here.

Chedoke Lower Falls.

Classified as a Curtain Cascade Waterfall, its height is 6 meters (20') and the width of its crest is 11 meters (36').

An amazing jumble of mammoth boulders and tree trunks at the top.

Looking back down the Gorge.

A bit further up, looking back.

Moving up the gorge.

A few dozen meters before reaching Upper Chedoke Falls is Denlow Falls, which is classified as a Horsetail Ribbon Cascade. It has a height of 19 metres (62') and the width varies from 2 metres to 9 metres as it cascades down.

And then Upper Chedoke Falls comes into view. Classified as a Ribbon Waterfall. It is 18 metres (60') in height and 9 metres (30') in crest width.

I’d love to think that this area is accessed only by respectful nature lovers, bird watchers, hikers, rock climbers and the like, but sadly the relative inaccessibility of the area seems to attract a lot of shit bags out to get wasted. Someone felt it necessary to spray paint some of the rocks and there is a fire pit strewn with garbage. An even sadder reality about the area is the smell. It was faint, but still... What was once a free flowing creek was buried underground to serve as a drain, as the pipes at the top of the two falls indicates. While a regular drain coursing through a large urban area would gather enough filth, the smell seems to indicate a lot worse. And as an acquaintance who has investigated much of the underground architecture in this city proves, there are a lot of illegal sewer hookups in the pipe.

Humans really are vile creatures.

My little buddy.

My two buddies.

The boy summed it up pretty well. “This must have been like paradise once. But gross people have kind of messed it up.”

We told him that we could come back some time with garbage bags and gloves and my EMR pack frame and clean up some of the mess left by inconsiderate low lifes. 

There is a very steep trail to climb out of the gorge and I suspect is the way most of the scroats get in.

The view from the top of the gorge.

The view out the way we had come.

I think if I hadn’t said anything, many people might think this is a really remote, unspoiled area. In actuality it’s maybe a 5 minute drive, (if that), or a ½ hour walk, (if that), from the core of one of the most major cities in Canada. While it may not be the pristine wonderland it must have been 300 years ago, it’s still an incredible area. A rugged ravine, lined with steep tree lined cliffs, maybe a half kilometer long, littered with mammoth boulders, water coursing through it, graced with the sights and sounds of waterfalls. It’s definitely a challenging hike, but for those fit enough, it’s well worth the effort.

And for me the best part was hearing the lad say, “That was way more fun than video games.” 

I really want to instill a love of nature and adventure in him and there are many more fascinating areas around here I want to take him to.